Creativity, Sexuality and Yoni Personality Types with Laura Hollick

Freya Graf [00:00:00]:

This program is brought to you by Pussy Magnets. Welcome. Welcome, my lovely lumps. Or should I say lovely labs? I'm so thrilled to have you here in the labia lounge to yawn about all things sexuality, womanhood, holistic health, and everything in between, your legs. Can never help myself. Anyway, we're gonna have vag loads of real chats with real people about real shit. So buckle up. You're about to receive the sex ed that you'd never had and have a bloody good laugh while you're at it.

Freya Graf [00:00:40]:

Before we get stuck in, I'd like to respectfully acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which I'm recording this, the Penang people. It's an absolute privilege to be living and creating dope podcast content on Noongar country, and I pay respect to their elders past, present and emerging. Now if you're all ready, let's flap and do this. Oh, god. Is there such thing as too many vagina jokes in the one intro? Whatever. I'm leaving it in. It's my podcast. Don't panic.

Freya Graf [00:01:12]:

You're not broken. Your sex education Hello, all you labial love bugs. Welcome back to another epi of the labial lounge. I have oh, fuck it. I've done it again. I forgot to ask how to pronounce my guest's name. So I'm thinking it's Laura, but there's a couple of those little dots above the u. So can you please tell me how to pronounce your name, my darling?

Laura [00:01:42]:

You got it. Laura. Yes. Laura Hall.

Freya Graf [00:01:44]:

Oh, okay. Easy. Easy. I was like, oh, no. What if it's Lara? Oh, and I've literally got in bold and italics at the top of my notes. Check how to pronounce her name. And I always forget. Anyway, I've got Laura Hollick, who is an award winning artist and visionary guide.

Freya Graf [00:02:04]:

She's the creator of the Yoni Art Certification and the Soul Art Certification. And after walking 10,000 kilometers on a vision quest, Laura clarified her purpose and dove into realizing it. She founded Soul Art Studio Inc, a business devoted to circulating love around the planet with creative inspiration. Lara's art and insights inspire audiences around the world with her global art events, like Yoni Art Fest, International Soul Art Day, and Global Vision Quest. She's even had a documentary created about her, and she's done a TEDx Talk called You Are the Art. So welcome, Laura.

Laura [00:02:45]:

Hello. Hello. I'm so excited to be in the Labia Lounge.

Freya Graf [00:02:50]:

So I, I've recently become acquainted with Lara through the aforementioned Yoni Art Fest, which I've just, yeah, I've just been part of. Did an interview the other day, and we just had such juicy kind of index conversations. And you were such a great, interviewer, and I thought, oh, I reckon we could have some good chats on my podcast, and maybe talk a little bit about what this Yoni Art Fest is as well because that's coming up, isn't it?

Laura [00:03:23]:

It is. Yep. June 5th to 9th. And I'm so grateful you've you are one of the speakers and featured guests in Yoni Art Fest. Got, like, beautiful lineup of women, and there's one guy as well speaking. It is always fascinating.

Freya Graf [00:03:40]:

Yeah. Very cool. So I guess I'm curious because and I'd love to I want I really wanna delve into, like, the link between creativity and sensuality, sexuality, our pussies, our yonis, whatever you wanna call them. But I'm really curious about your journey with it and and your relationship to YoYoni because you've obviously created a whole festival around Yoyony Art. And so I'm just wondering if you could give us a bit of bit of a down low on what brought you to this space where you're focusing, your art on this part of the body and and bringing in sensuality and femininity into your work? Mhmm.

Laura [00:04:28]:

Yeah, for sure. So my journey started as an artist first, and even that in itself is a bit of a story. And I'll just share a little bit so it can of lead it into how did I get into all the Yoni art stuff.

Freya Graf [00:04:42]:

Yeah.

Laura [00:04:42]:

So when I was a kid, I was very disconnected, very disembodied, and didn't feel like I really belonged in my family and in the space that I was in. And so what I did to deal with this, it was very painful, but I don't even know if I would say it was painful. I just kind of was a bit numbed out to it all. And I would retreat into my imagination. And in that process, I started to feel like my imagination was my home. I felt comfortable there. I felt like I could my body would relax when I would go into my imagination. And I would see all these worlds and just beautiful realities.

Laura [00:05:26]:

And I felt like in this reality, I was beautiful and I was loved and I was cherished. And I loved and I cherished the space that I was in. And as I was growing up, I was introduced to art. And I remember when I first was exposed to art and I remember thinking to myself like, Oh, what? You mean you can make your imagination real? Because to me, that meant I could make a home for myself. Like, I could I could be here in this world because I could make something. And so my journey, I just I went like total passion wild into making art. And because I was super creative, like that was just like it was just pouring out of me like a waterfall. So much art.

Laura [00:06:16]:

And people started approaching me, asking me quest this you know, I go on high school then university and beyond. And people were asking me about sexuality. And I was very confused because I didn't really understand why are you asking me? And they're like, well, you're so creative. Like, you're so fertile and and creative and is so inspired and passionate. And so, it's like, isn't, like, isn't that like sexual energy? And I I had never really thought of it like that, honestly. But so my journey was, like, as an artist, but then I was introduced to sexuality because I started being asked to actually speak at different events. This is how crazy it is. They were asking me to speak about it.

Laura [00:07:04]:

And so I would always speak about creative energy, which is like life force energy, and life force energy is sexual energy. Now I at a certain point, I really started to explore, sort of, the difference. You know, like creative energy to me, I always thought I felt it and experienced it as a divine love affair. And so it's like like a spiritual sexuality in a way. Creativity to me is like a spiritual sexuality where there is a passion. There's an aliveness. There's a turn on. There's desire.

Laura [00:07:38]:

There's birth. There's realizations. There's like all this flow. But then their sexuality is is actually similar. There's ways that it's similar, but it's also very different. The similarity is that it is life force energy. There is like a gush of something that moves through you. There's an intelligence to this life force energy it's moving through.

Laura [00:08:01]:

It is creative. It's creation energy. But when I'm making art, there's like a spiritual lovemaking happening in that process. And I started to do a lot of learning and research and embodied experiencing around more of the primal aspect of life force energy, which I think of as sexual energies, more of the primal intelligence. Whereas art to me is more of a, like, a spiritual intelligence. And so I went into a deep dive and in that process, starting to understand why I was disembodied as a kid, why I felt awkward in my body and really starting to stitch back together my connection with my primal self. So all that energy that I had naturally with the art and the creativity could also come into my body and the way that I express myself and the way that I could be in my body. And it drastically changed my art, actually.

Laura [00:09:00]:

My art really became more about my own embodiment. And I started doing tons and tons of photo shoots and very elaborate creative embodiment, things traveling around the world, doing different photo shoots, but it really became more like I was the art, my own being in my body, expressing through my body became the art form. So when I think about creative energy, I think, yes, it's life force, but it's, it's of a spiritual there's a spiritual nature for me and my experience with it. And sexual energy, there's a primal intelligence to that life force energy. And so our body understands it. Our, you know, our naturalness, our wildness, when we get into more of an earthy kind of space or energetics, there's we can tap into that primal intelligence.

Freya Graf [00:09:53]:

Yeah. So cool. Oh, and your, yeah, your artwork, like, I've when you were talking about the photo shoots and getting getting your actual body involved in the art as well. Like, some of that is just the most exquisite stuff I've ever seen. And I I was showing my partner the other day. I was, like, scrolling through your Instagram. Just like, look at this. Holy shit.

Freya Graf [00:10:14]:

Look at all these colors. It's amazing. Like, it's exactly the kinda I'm I'm a I'm a massive color slut. Like, I just get around any kind of bright colors, and I love it. So, yeah, that's really cool. So what about your kind of like, you sort of talked about, yeah, the the link between creativity and sensuality and how you kind of perceive those different energies. But I'm curious about your relationship with your own sexuality and your own yoni and and, like, whether that has been a bit of a healing journey that you've used art as a tool for or whether you, you know, in being asked to speak and and focus on this, you actually kind of delved into your own, work on that side of things? Or, you know, like, what what's been your experience of your sexuality, your body, your yoni? Mhmm.

Laura [00:11:11]:

Oh my goodness. Where to start? That's like just opening up the, you know, the floodgates of so many layers of stories. But I think that it's been, you know, there's been such a range. Like, I was definitely very disconnected, disembodied, very awkward, scared of my own body. I got my period very late and and I think I was just so, tight and constricted and sort of resisting feeling in a way. And so I was terrified of all of it, really. Like, I just kind of would feel like I was in a sweat just thinking about connecting sexually with someone. And it was very, very stressful to me.

Laura [00:11:57]:

And where do I even go from there? I mean, a lot has changed. A lot has evolved. A lot has happened. But I've definitely had that experience. And I think that what started to shift it for me is that I actually because everything felt so stunted, I desired to know my sexuality. You know, like, I actually wanted to. I wanted my period. You know, a lot of people, they they, like, resent their period.

Laura [00:12:27]:

I I, like, cherish my period, you know, because I got it late. And then by the time it came, it felt like a a prayer had been answered. And it felt like I could sort of begin that that process of my sexual life. And in my early twenties, I had like a sexual awakening is the only way I can think to describe it. I started dancing. And in one of these dance classes, you know, it wasn't like a training kind of dancing. It was like African drummers are playing and we're at like, there's a fire going and, like, everyone's just going wild kind of dance. And I would go to these every week.

Laura [00:13:04]:

And the woman who was leading it was just she was like my my spirit mother. You know, she birthed my sexual self. She birthed my primal self. And I had this sexual awakening where just suddenly like, I'd always felt the gush from above with my art and creativity. But now it was like my Yoni had been activated. My womb had been activated. I was gushing from, like, all ends of the channel. You know, it's just so much.

Laura [00:13:31]:

And for about 2 years, I felt like I was living in a perpetual orgasm. I'd be walking down the street. Yeah. No. This had nothing to do with another person. This there was no other person. It was me and life. And I'd be walking on the street, and I remember this one time I could feel the wave of it sort of starting to come over me.

Laura [00:13:52]:

And I remember leaning against the brick wall of this store and just letting this orgasm go through me. And it was it was, like, profound. I I and that went on for 2 years. So in those 2 years, I I felt like I lived in an orgasm. And it was it was extraordinary. And and then, you know, I started to get some attention to me because I must have been emitting. I must have been emitting some kind of like signal of sexuality. And I did attract different people and beautiful experiences came through that.

Laura [00:14:31]:

But then there was and I was very open. Like, it's like I I was so awkward before, but now I was just like, you know, kind of look at me from any angle, you know, like, you're all awesome. And I ended up with this this one man and there was one so we got into a really beautiful sexual relationship that lasted for around 5 years. But there were little things that were happening that started to actually shut me down. I had this massive opening, and then there was, you know, different things are happening. But one of the things that happened, which I think in some way really led to the Yoni artwork that I do now, is he had put out a magazine and opened a page and, like, left it for me to see this article. And I, like, noticed the thing, and I'm like, what is this? He goes, oh, I just think you should, you know, read that article. And I look at it, and it was about plastic surgery for your labia.

Laura [00:15:35]:

And I remember just being, like, so confused and so like, I just didn't really understand what why are you showing me this article? And now he never said it, but what I came to understand is that basically, he was hinting like, why don't you go get plastic surgery on your labia?

Freya Graf [00:15:59]:

I hate him. I hate him. Yeah.

Laura [00:16:02]:

I know. Isn't it so awful? It is it's it's just

Freya Graf [00:16:05]:

like an at all.

Laura [00:16:08]:

And so I I don't even like, it took me so many years to even process what had happened. And, you know, years after that and I was no longer with him, but I'd had really it shut me down. You know, it had really shut me down, and I where I had felt actually no shame at all. Like, I you know, yes, I was awkward in my body as a kid, but when it came to my sexuality, I I wasn't awkward about being looked at. Like, I liked showing my boobs. I like, you know, like, you know, I'd open my legs. Like, I I was okay at my bum, whatever. Like, I I enjoyed that.

Laura [00:16:45]:

And then suddenly, it's almost like the same imprint that I had as a kid of just feeling like the disembodied, the disconnected. Like, it came now into my sexuality. And so, yeah, I really I started to shut down after being so open. And I had I was, you know, getting into my business and starting to do my thing, but still quite shut down at this point. Like, it's like I had gone through a wave of being shut down, open, shut down. And then I was getting to my business and, kind of, focusing more on the creative aspects and, you know, and having joy and pleasure. Absolutely. Like loving it.

Laura [00:17:22]:

And I ended up going on this trip where I had to share a room with this other woman. And we were on this island in this kind of cabin. I was there for this retreat and I hadn't met her before, but I'd seen her online. So I knew who she was. And, you know, we were going to be roommates and that's great. So I get to this little cabin and I was thinking before I went, I'm like, Oh, I like to sleep in the nude. And, you know, I've never really, like, shared a room with someone as I've been an adult. You know, like, what's this gonna be like? And I brought pajamas just in case that was awkward.

Laura [00:17:52]:

But when I get to the place and she's already there and, you know, she opens the door to greet me and I'm like, hi. Hi. And she goes, so so how do you feel about nudity? I'm like, oh, you know, I'm okay with it. I said, you know, I I actually sleep in the nude, you know. I don't know if it's gonna be a problem. She's like, no. And then she just takes all her clothes off. And I was like, wow.

Laura [00:18:11]:

Okay. This is this is really interesting. So she's now walking around totally comfortable. She has taken her clothes. She's she, you know, was waiting to ask me how I felt so she could do this. And then I go to the the bedroom, and, like, we have one bed that we're sharing. Her and I so I'm like, oh, this is just like, this is fascinating. But then I noticed she was, like, doing something on the computer.

Laura [00:18:37]:

She's typing and she's bending over and she's like not adjusting her body at all. You know, if you like bend over, you get some rolls just because you're, like, bending, so your stomach kind of crinkles up for to adjust the for the bending. Well, so yeah. She's, like, getting some rolls and her body didn't flinch at all in adjustment to that. And I just I noticed it, and I I was like, wow. This this woman, she's completely at ease in her body. Like, she's totally comfortable with herself. And I and I was just absolutely like I just was in awe because I suddenly had felt like ashamed of my body and like, oh, gosh.

Laura [00:19:25]:

If someone sees me from the wrong angle, they're gonna have a judgment. And oh, my goodness. And they're gonna give me this article about getting plastic surgery. What's gonna happen? And, she, you know, I asked her about herself and I'm just like, you know, how did you, how how are you like this? And and she just started telling me about different things and she said, oh, I I created this thing about the Yoni. I'm like, well, what's a Yoni? What is a yoni? And she's like, yoni is your it's your vagina, your vulva, your labia, and your womb. It's your whole feminine sexual organs. And she's and then she's going to the spiritual aspect of it. And I just thought I I want to understand Yoni.

Laura [00:20:08]:

This woman knows about Yoni. I want to understand Yoni like and they just opened up another door, like another kind of layer of awakening. But this one, not from just an innocence, but one from, you know, having experienced things and then still choosing to open, you know. But it's it's a different kind of opening when you open after something that is kinda traumatic in whatever way it is. And yeah. So so there we go.

Freya Graf [00:20:40]:

Yeah. Wow. Yeah. It's definitely a totally different kettle of fish when you have had the shutdown and and the sort of, like, contraction of, you know, having traumatic experiences, having criticism directed at your body from someone else, from yourself, to then try to open back up and to become comfortable once that damage has been done is, yeah, it's a whole I mean, yeah, it's not coming from just naivety or innocence and and inexperience. It's coming from, like, decisiveness about the fact that you want to empower yourself, to sort of free yourself from the the shackles of insecurity and self consciousness and being under, you know, someone else's gaze. Like, I would say the male gaze, but anyone. Like, we do really, I love that you brought up that you noticed that she didn't adjust herself in the way she moved and bent over or whatever because that is massive. Like, that's something that we all consciously or subconsciously learn to do to kind of, yeah, show our best side and and portray our bodies to other people in the way that we want them to be seen because we're so insecure and because we don't think that stomach roll is okay or you know, it's just crazy, like, how long that took me and how much everyone does it.

Freya Graf [00:22:07]:

Like, I love that, you know, Rosie Grace has this stop sucking it in movement around, you know, tummies and how we all suck it in. Like, my ex's mom, like, taught him to and and he's he's like a male, but she was always talking about how you just like, if there's one thing that you do, it is just keep your belly tensed and sucked in at all times. And she was teaching her kids that, and it's just, one, it's terrible for your pelvic floor, And 2, like, there's just all these little ways that we have we feel like we have to adjust ourselves that are so unhelpful and so draining. Like, it's such a preoccupation. You know? In in

Laura [00:22:48]:

Thank you. When I

Freya Graf [00:22:49]:

was first getting comfortable with being naked around people, the amount of little things that I would like, I would have to always be in a certain position, ideally, like standing up. So because as as soon as you sit down, it's like, oh, well then, you know, this is gonna spread there, and that roll is gonna roll there. And maybe your flaps are gonna be splayed open because you're spinning and you can't, so then you've gotta place your hands in front of so no one can actually just stay straight up your clacker. And it's like, there's a million considerations because we're still trying to curate how someone sees us, and that's the only way we're feeling comfortable being naked. So it's not actually a full, complete comfort in nudity. It's it's, like, conditional. And, like, I would you know, if I was intimate with someone, I would always kinda pinch my nipples before I entered the room so that they went erect and I didn't look like I had orangutang tits as I used to think of them when my nipples

Laura [00:23:47]:

were

Freya Graf [00:23:52]:

soft. I used to, like, lie on my side in a way that made it look like I had cleavage because I have really small breasts, and I was so self conscious about it. And, and at the same time as trying to have cleavage and making sure I tuck one arm underneath to prop up the bottom boob and make the make the kind of cleavage look bigger. I would also be sucking in my stomach because when you lie on your side, all of your organs kind of flop down and you don't wanna you don't want anyone to see that, so you're sucking that in. And then I was putting my leg like, it's insane. It's so insane. So insane.

Laura [00:24:26]:

Comedy skit.

Freya Graf [00:24:27]:

And that's like It's like

Laura [00:24:28]:

It's a total comedy skit. I mean, it's not when when it's being experienced. But if you you know, just as you were describing that,

Freya Graf [00:24:34]:

I could just imagine it, like, a whole comedy skit. Totally. Totally. And it's like I'm sure it's been done as well, like, in in terms of, like, you know, stuff more obvious stuff like the standing up straight, putting your shoulders back, sucking in your stomach and stuff. I've totally you know, pushing up your boobs. I've seen that in movies and stuff. But, like, the the subtle things that I was just completely neurotic about that I was constantly managing and aware of meant that, like, the sort of experience that I'd have being naked around someone, especially during intimacy, was, like, I I was robbed of being able to be present and actually enjoy that because I was so terrified that they were gonna notice that my boobs were tiny or, like, that, you know, my stomach was flopping and bulging to like, it just it's just so unfair, and it's such a it's such a scam, you know, because we're all just so distracted by our insecurities and trying to come off a certain way. And I don't know.

Freya Graf [00:25:35]:

Maybe the other person's also doing it. And we're both just, like, totally in our heads, like, thinking, oh my god. What are they looking at? What are they feeling when they touch me? What are they thinking? So, yes, it's cool to hear about people that are actually completely and, you know, there was a few years where I would have said, yep. I'm comfortable being naked now, and that was a huge process for me even around, partners. But, you know, to become comfortable being naked around, just people, like, I went to a lot of, nude festivals and things like this and and became really comfortable with nudity. But, like, there were still years where I was technically comfortable with nudity, but I was aware of these things and I was curating how my body looked. And it's only, you know, the last few years where I've noticed that I've stopped noticing. Like, I'll be naked, and I'll just be sitting in whatever position or doing whatever activity, and I won't be, 1, aware of the other person looking at me and worrying about what they're saying.

Freya Graf [00:26:35]:

And 2, like, actually curating what what position I'm in and what my body is doing and what angle they're able to see me at. Like, I just don't even think about it anymore. And that is actually true. Liberation from, yeah, from the insecurities. So cool that you mentioned that.

Laura [00:26:52]:

Yeah. And just another thing too that kind of came in around that with the idea of sort of a primal intelligence and and like a a spiritual intelligence. Are we really can only access our primal intelligence when we're present. And so when we're doing all those things and all those adjustments, we are not really present. I mean, we can seem like we're present because we're noticing the moment or adjusting ourselves. We're not actually experiencing ourself. We're sort of from the disembodied perspective, analyzing ourself through the eyes of another or through the judgment of something. And so we're not really in our body.

Laura [00:27:32]:

So in those moments, we can't really have access to our sexuality. Right. And it's so interesting because when you look at what's happened in society where women are very objectified. And so just by that, there's a disembodiment. There's something there we're sort of like out of the the moment of our experience and we're sort of assessing it in a way rather than experiencing it. Any form of objectification, it does disembody. It's hard because it's it's being it's being seen from the outside rather than experienced from yourself, experienced from your own self. So, yeah, it's just interesting.

Laura [00:28:16]:

And, earlier you'd asked, you know, about sensuality and sexuality. I think that they're they're kind of different energies in a way. Like, sexuality to me is that primal intelligence. Sensuality is the sensation which can reach the sexuality. Right? Like, when we get very present in our body, we access that primal intelligence and that can awaken or arouse or activate our sexuality. But sensuality can exist with no sexuality at all. Like someone can be very, very sensual. And, you know, and I think that that's almost a little bit more of my own comfort zone.

Laura [00:28:53]:

Like I can definitely I love sensuality. I love the the movement of sensuality and the textures and feeling things and, you know, being in nature and smelling things and feeling the heat from the sun or whatever, like senses, like feeling. And yeah, so I think that there there is a difference in that. Sensuality can certainly lead to sexuality, but I think sexuality is the point where it's fully tipped into the primal intelligence. And it's now the body is is sort of guiding. It has the intelligence like it's it's guiding with its mind, its its way of being. And so there's, like, a rewilding to reach the sexuality.

Freya Graf [00:29:43]:

Hey, babe towns. So sorry to interrupt, but I simply had to pop my head into the lounge here and mention another virtual lounge that you've got to get around. It's the Labia Lounge Facebook group that I've created for listeners of the potty to mingle in. And there you'll find extra bits and bobs like freebies or discounts for offerings from guests who've been interviewed on the podcast, inspiring and thought provoking conversations, and support from a community of labial legends. I also have an account on the fab new app, Sunroom, which is a platform created by women for women and non binary folk and where there's no shadow banning or censorship of sex positive content, unlike with the other platforms that I'm on. So you can hit up my Sunroom for extra content and real and raw life updates because I'll be sharing on there from now on all of the stuff that I can't post anywhere else. My vision for both of these is that they become really supportive, educational, and hilarious resources for you to have more access to me and a safe space to ask questions that you can't ask anywhere else. So head over to the links in the show notes and I'll hopefully see you in there.

Freya Graf [00:30:55]:

And now back to the episode. The you were talking about the difference between sexuality and sensuality. Yeah, I I've I've that's come up on the podcast a bit lately. Actually, I just did an episode on asexuality and aromanticism where we talked about the difference between sexuality and sensuality. And it's such an interesting differentiation to make and I think such an important one. So I'm glad you brought that up. But I'd love to do the segment, get pregnant and die because it's time to slot that one in. And I'm wondering if you've got an anecdote or a story about your sex ed that you would feel comfortable sharing with us.

Freya Graf [00:31:38]:

Don't have sex because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in a missionary position. Don't have don't have sex standing up. Just don't do it. Promise?

Laura [00:31:52]:

You know, I don't even remember sex school. I don't remember any education on sexuality. And I'm wondering even if I missed something because I had shifted schools. And, and when I shifted schools, you know, they the new school is in a different place, and I honestly do not even remember any sex ed at all.

Freya Graf [00:32:15]:

Mhmm. Yeah. And I don't know if

Laura [00:32:17]:

I have a story for that. Yeah.

Freya Graf [00:32:19]:

Yeah. You just may not have had any at school. Like, that's also totally a thing. So I guess, like, where did you learn? Like, chats with your friends? Did your parents talk to you? Like, magazines? You know, where where did you get your info?

Laura [00:32:37]:

Well, it is so fascinating. Right? And I think this is why I've started doing so much well, it started. Like, that's how I started because there I didn't really have any. Even just a couple years ago, I told my parents when I actually got my period, which was decades earlier. And it was like it just was not a thing. And so I've had to seek out things and find places to learn and, you know, my own experience. So it's something that, like, I in my own sexuality, there's been such a range of experience from total kind of disembodiment, numbness, disassociation, disconnection, to full on, like, being in multiple orgasms to, you know, like, living in that for a couple years, and then also having another shutdown and then opening again through different kinds of intimacy. So there's such a range of experience, and I I've learned from people in different ways.

Laura [00:33:47]:

And then I also I am a certified tantra coach, so I worked with you know, I went deep into that training and learning and and, you know, so there there's that, and that really came out of this longing to feel like there was someone who could guide me. And then I also got certified doing vaginal fascia massage. I worked with Tammy Lynn Kent. And, you know, so I've gone so many paths to learn, but in my childhood and in the beginning, there was not it just wasn't there. And and so I think that's part of why I was shut down because it's literally like it was just, like, nonexistent. Of course, things were rising in me, and I was feeling things and starting to notice things, but but it was it almost just felt like an isolated experience because it was not discussed. And I also have an older sister. We never talked about it.

Laura [00:34:40]:

I don't know when she got her period. She still to this day has no idea when I got mine. So it's very it's just very interesting and yeah. So I don't even have a story on the sex ed thing. You know? That is a story. Itself.

Freya Graf [00:34:55]:

Yeah. Exactly. And it's so sad that that's, you know, that just is such a missed opportunity for connection and for sharing this experience, like, you know, having a sister and talking about that sort of thing. And and thinking back, like, I have a younger sister. She's 5 years younger, so there's a bit of an age gap. Like, I definitely would probably moved out of home by the time she was getting her first period. But, yeah, I don't remember speaking to her about it at all or, you know, I wasn't I wasn't the person that she came to to talk to about it as far as I know. And I also, like, hid my period from my mom and never talked to her about it when I first got it.

Freya Graf [00:35:34]:

And yeah. Isn't it just such a shame and such a, yeah, a lost opportunity to bond and to learn and to just have this kind of sisterhood? Oh, god. So sad.

Laura [00:35:46]:

Well, and that's why I've gone the path I've gone because it I real there's, like, a primal need to connect with our own sexuality. Right? Like, it it you can't avoid it. You can't deny it. I mean, you can try to avoid it. You can try to pretend it doesn't exist. You can, you know, sort of keep it quiet, but it's there. And so in that primal need and just as the the base of our physical being, really, Eventually, I think everyone in some way gets called to learn about it, whether it's through something that happened in their school system or with a friend or they start seeking out different workshops or books. Or some people go the route of, like, porn and kind of just their sort of what's easy access to fulfill a need.

Laura [00:36:34]:

And but the that primal hole to discover our sexuality is in everyone, I think, and I think we all will find a way. So whether it goes in a certain path, it will find a way to get into your life because it's, like, it's your life force. It's your your energy. It's your, you know, your primal being.

Freya Graf [00:36:58]:

Yeah. Yeah. Totally. And that can be really beautiful and lots of growth and expansion and learning, or it can be in a really dysfunctional way because it is such an integral part of being human. And like you said, it's life force energy. It's this, you know, this primal thing within all of us, or most of us, and it's gonna come out one way or another and that can look really toxic and really, you know, imbalanced as well if someone hasn't found kind of positive or healthy or helpful avenues to learn about it and maybe they've only seen, you know, really extreme porn or had quite, you know, not very not very nice sexual experiences, and that might be their only scope of reference. And so yeah. Or, you know, I hear a lot from people with really, very religious upbringings, how how, you know, repressed and suppressed it's all always been.

Freya Graf [00:37:59]:

And then it it finds these other ways to come out that are not healthy, and it's, yeah, something that doesn't wanna be denied. So pretty cool that you found these pods and so did I. Like, found these pods to learn about it in ways that were empowering and did actually set us on a track of growth and, you know, quite a positive path, actually. And I'm wondering, like, what so you've created this it's making more sense now because I actually didn't know that you're a tantric practitioner or that you'd done Yoni facial facial? Facial? Facials, massage. But when you interviewed me for Yoni Art Fest, and we're kinda talking about Yoni mapping and things like that, just the things you were saying, I was like, oh, she's, like, really done her research. Or, like, she kinda knows she kinda knows what's up, and now it's making sense because you also done a similar form of math art. And then it also makes sense that you've created this Yoni personality type quiz or framework, and I haven't, dug too deeply into that. I was just gonna ask you about it.

Freya Graf [00:39:03]:

But what's the go with your Yoni quiz?

Laura [00:39:08]:

So I think it's to acknowledge the different, sometimes, phases of life that we're in and also just different ways of approaching sexuality. Right? Because if we just look out to the media or sort of mainstream education on sex, from what I can see and understand of it, It may not give the full space for someone to just be what they are. And so in the Yoni personality quiz, it helps people to kind of see how they're relating with their sexuality. Right? Because some people, it's like I call it the flower bud. You know, it's just it's starting to open. They're starting to notice. They're, you know, just the feeling, the sensations, maybe having their their first relationship. Even if they're in their fifties, but their first relationship where it's their sexuality is actually attracted or they're they're opening something in themselves.

Laura [00:40:02]:

And that that's a whole it's like a a yoni personality type to have that kind of, like, awakening experience. And then there's there's also when we use our sexual energy for creativity or to create an entrepreneurial venture. So, like, that sexual energy isn't for lovemaking with a partner, but more for, you know, building a a marketing funnel or making money or, you know, doing something like a creation project. And sometimes that's how we use that sexual energy. And then there's other times where it's like, let's harmonize, you know, soul in our body and, you know, like that kind of heart gasm of just, like, feeling like your soul is in your body and you're sexual and you're erotic and you're expressing and you're, like, you know, you're just, like, in that that juice. That's a yoni personality type. Right? And then there's also the shame. Right? Like, I think of Eve.

Laura [00:40:54]:

Right? The one who's the innocent, but also kind of holds the burden of so much shame. And, you know, even though underneath it, there's an innocence, but shame just kind of, like, moving through everything. And I think that's an aspect of how we can relate with our yoni, with our sexuality. And so, you know, there's different personality types or different ways that we can be expressing our sexuality, relating with our sexuality. So the quiz is a way to to start to see that. And I've done it, like, I created it. Right? But I've also done it at different years in my life. And I pretty much always get the same one, but every once in a while, it kind of fluctuates, fluctuates, between, you know, different different aspects.

Laura [00:41:44]:

So it's just fascinating. It's just a way of getting to know ourself.

Freya Graf [00:41:48]:

Wow. So how many yoni types are there, and how did you come up with this?

Laura [00:41:53]:

Yeah. So there's 5 types, and there's surely more, but there's 5 to to open the, you know, that kind of the connection, to open the connection. And these types came through over really decades of studying and experiencing, being in my own experience, witnessing people, working with people. So in that exploration and and sort of study, I started to notice. I'm like, okay. There's there's a type where it's like there's a lot of body issue stuff going on. Right? Like, there's a lot of just, like, the discomfort with the body or the something around the body is blanketing the sexual experience. Right? Like, so, someone might feel like there could be an eating issue or a weight issue or a health issue or just shame or feeling like they don't they can't handle judgment and, you know, there's so many things around that.

Laura [00:42:50]:

And so that's like a type. And then there's, like, other types where it's like, it's just so much about pleasure and sensuality and, you know, like, embody more pleasure, find the nuance to stretch into new spaces of pleasure, pleasure, pleasure. And it's like like that that's that's a place to, you know, that that's a type. So I was just starting to notice really these different types, but also what is the gift of that experience, and what is the the challenge or the opportunity within that experience? Because each one can be a gateway to deepen into yourself and your power and your, you know, who you you really wanna be on a deep soul level and a primal level. So I was start just starting to study the the opportunities within each of the types where the growth and evolution can be. And because then when we can see that, it's like we can identify our primal instinct, our primal call. It's like because we're our primal instinct is it's like it's where where our life force energy is. And then there's also, like, that soul aspect of, like, well, what is your your soul's evolution? What is your desire? Where are you wanting to grow? Who are you wanting to become? And it's just it's a way to start to to see that and spot it so you can then work with it.

Laura [00:44:19]:

Right? And develop the thing that you already are in sync with that you're wanting and you're desiring to develop. It's like where you are, but it's also then your your growth evolution opportunity as well.

Freya Graf [00:44:32]:

Right. So if you were I'm just trying to wrap my head around this. If you were like a type that, really struggled with shame and maybe body image stuff, would you then heal that and transition into being a different having a different yoni personality type?

Laura [00:44:53]:

Not necessarily because each one of them has a beauty and a challenge. Right? So someone who might be working with shame, let's say, or a body issue, really, the opportunity is a restoration of innocence and a liberation of your true self. So that's still the same type. Right? The one who who is in sync with their innocence and, like, feels an honor with their innocence and a liberation with their natural self. They're still that same type. Right? Shame is

Freya Graf [00:45:30]:

kind of like the one

Laura [00:45:30]:

of the ways that we that's the challenge part of that type. You know, when we think of Eve, you know, it's like the original innocence. And it's like, what's our original innocence? Right? And yet then shame can be the thing that that kind of challenges that. And so when we if we are dealing with shame, it's like, in some ways, it can be a call to restore our innocence, restore our honor of our naturalness, and then cultivating how can how can we be with that? How can we restore our own garden of Eden within ourselves? And and so it would still be the same type. But when I've had, you know, over the years, and I do the quiz myself, and there's one type that I I tend to be most of the time. And then but there's every once in a while where I sort of fluctuate. And it's just like all of us. It's so it's like saying, you know, what's your favorite color? It might be blue for a couple years, and then suddenly, it's like well, actually, maybe purple or maybe maybe it's yellow now.

Laura [00:46:37]:

And so just depending on what's going on, you can shift, but it's it's not like you have to get over something and then you're evolving through the you know, becoming someone different. It's that you're gaining the full capacity of that that opportunity. You're becoming that more and more and more. And so I know I work with one of the types for probably most of my life. I'll probably work with it because there's just endless opportunities within all of them. Yeah.

Freya Graf [00:47:07]:

Which type are you?

Laura [00:47:10]:

Well, it's just kinda holding it because it's sort of just kinda holding it. You know? And I think that that's that's with it. It's like it's something for the person not you know, of course, you can share if you want, but I think I'm all of them. But as I was saying, the one that I guess I am the most is one who utilizes the sexual energy to create things. That's the one I think that my life path, like, I you I work with sexual energy. I work with primal energy and higher self energy to create. And so that's that's something you probably will be with me my whole life. But, you know, I've I've played with them all.

Laura [00:47:58]:

I've played with them all.

Freya Graf [00:48:00]:

Yeah. Yeah. Makes sense as an artist. And it does. I like to sort of think of I suppose it's similar with, you know, erotic blueprints or love languages or these these sorts of things. Like, we're never it's never just completely one and not the others. And, you know, I feel like we have a little dollop of each in different ratios, and it fluctuates. And maybe at different points in our life, or our journey will be more, you know, one than another.

Freya Graf [00:48:30]:

But I I quite like, I was a little bit like, I don't know. I'm skeptical. I'm not sure about this. But then when you're, like, you know, you you can kind of, like, have multiple elements of each and fluctuate. I'm, like, okay. Cool. That's more aligned with, like, my, perspective on sexuality and especially, like, feminine sexuality, how fluid it can be and how we can really kind of evolve and change and fluctuate because, yeah, I feel as though whenever I do these sorts of quizzes or tests, I'm like, I can pretty much relate. There's usually 1 or 2 that I'm more resonant with, but I can usually relate to elements of every category, and, you know, get get insights or gifts from that.

Freya Graf [00:49:13]:

So yeah. Cool. Alright. So something this is like a bit of a this is more for my own curiosity, and I've asked 1 or 2 other people on the podcast this before because I got asked this and like, a couple of years ago, and I'm still kind of tussling with it. And I like to talk to other people in similar because obviously, like, it's in, a lot of your branding, Yoni Art Fest, in in in the modality I practice, it's called yoni mapping therapy. That's, like, what it's you know, that's trademark or whatever it is. It's, like, that's the name of it, and that's what I have to call it. And I never thought much of it in the 1st few years.

Freya Graf [00:50:03]:

And then someone was like, so isn't that cultural appropriation? Like, what do you think about, you know, you being, like, a little white girl using this term and adopting these sort of, like, you know, tantric influences in in the work and stuff? And it's such a complex and layered topic, but I just had the urge to ask you because, obviously, Yoni features quite heavily in a lot of your work, and you've got Yoni Art Fest coming up. And I'm wondering if you've ever been asked this question. Do you get any backlash? Do you have any thoughts on this? Excuse the interruption, my loves, but I'm shamelessly seeking reviews and 5 star ratings for the potty because, as I'm sure sure you've noticed by now, it's pretty fab. And the more people who get to hear it, the more people it can help. Reviews and ratings help me carry favor with the algorithmic gods and get suggested to other listeners to check out. Plus, they make me feel really good and appreciated as I continue to pour my heart and soul into creating this baby for you. And I promise I don't maz over them or anything. I mostly just tuck them away for a rainy day when I'm filled with self doubt and existential dread about being self employed, which is fairly frequently.

Freya Graf [00:51:16]:

So you see, leaving a review really does make a difference, and it's an easy little act of support that you can take in just a minute or 2 by either going to Spotify and leaving 5 stars for the show or writing a written review and leaving 5 stars over on Apple Podcasts. Choose your poison. Or if you're a real overachiever, you could do both. Woah now. If you are writing a review, though, just be sure to only use g rated words because despite the fact that this is a podcast about sexuality, words like sex can be censored, and your review won't actually show up. Lame. Anyway oh, oh, what was that? Are you gonna go do it right now while I wait? Okay. Yeah.

Freya Graf [00:51:57]:

Yeah. No. That's a great idea. May as well just quickly click that 5 star button before we get on with it and, you know, like, forget about it and get on with your day. Oh, I'm hearing them roll in. I'm hearing those 5 stars. Oh my god. I make myself cringe.

Freya Graf [00:52:14]:

Anyway, thank you, Majli. You're a total gem, and I'll let you get back to the episode now.

Laura [00:52:20]:

Yeah. Definitely. And I've thought a lot about it. I considered, is this the right word given all those things? And so, you know, I think that there's there's definitely a good argument on the side of, you know, respecting cultures and, you know, obviously, not taking from cultures in a way that exploits it. And, you know, I think that those are all really beautiful, empowering things to to talk about and, you know, and to kinda figure out where we stand in it. Right? Like, it's an important thing. And then there's also yeah. Like, where does it land? So in my own experience so I am a certified tantra coach, and in that certification process, yoni is the word that is used in that.

Laura [00:53:13]:

So so kind of went through a whole training within that context of working with that word. So that word, I feel, initiated with that word in a a really beautiful training and and practice that I was in.

Freya Graf [00:53:29]:

Mhmm.

Laura [00:53:30]:

And then, also, I think that there's things that they do become integrated into society and like, things like yoga. Right? Like, yoga is also a word that comes from somewhere else. In some ways, everything comes from somewhere else. Right? If you really wanna think about it. And so, yeah, I think that it's something to to be with and kind of find where where we all land in it, and I'm okay with it. And I actually have I've interviewed people, and I've asked them. I'm like, can you teach me or educate me on, you know, cultural appropriation and understanding, like, where's the line? What's what's okay? You know, and and doing that research and and then coming to my own just kinda like, well, like, what what feels okay? And it feels okay.

Freya Graf [00:54:28]:

Cool. Beautiful answer. So that's

Laura [00:54:30]:

where I am in it, and I'm sure people have so many opinions. You know? And I'll just Yeah. I'm sure there's so many opinions. And I think one of the things that yeah. It's it's such a big topic, and it's a political topic right now. And so it's kinda like a little bit of walking on eggshells to make sure that it's not gonna disrupt, like, something. And and I respect that, and I understand that. And at the same time, yeah, I feel like it's a word that has become integrated, and and it's a beautiful word.

Laura [00:55:09]:

And in things like Yoni Art Fest, when we do that and in the work that I do, we put a little like, we put a thing on of, like, you know, this is a a Sanskrit word and, you know, all these kinds of things. And and so it's acknowledging where it comes from. And and I don't see that necessarily when you go to a yoga studio or whatever. So, when you go to a yoga studio or whatever. So, yeah, it's we all have to find where the line is and, as a culture, kind of figure out what we're okay with, what we're not okay with, and, you know, keep evolving that. Yeah. And finding sacred ways of of honoring things. So Yeah.

Laura [00:55:50]:

If something is done in a respectful way and the origin of where the word comes from is acknowledged. Yeah.

Freya Graf [00:56:00]:

Yeah. Yeah. It's it's definitely a bit of a bit of an eggshell situation, isn't it? Especially since sort of cancel culture and and this rise in, yeah, PC culture and policing. And it's it's a really tough one because I feel similarly to you, like, also just like, well, you know, I do have training behind me, came from that tantric background where they use that word, and it is also the best word for what we're trying. Like, what what better word? There isn't really a word that encompasses that entire, you know, feminine reproductive area of the womb and the labia, the vulva, the, you know, the vagina, all of it, and also carries with it such reverence and, like, positive respectful connotations. Like, we don't have a word like that that we can use. And so it's really tough because I I I feel like I'm just so, like, nervous about offending someone or, you know and that's, like, also, I just need to get over that a little bit. I think once you start, like, becoming some it's not like I'm a public figure, but, you know, I have a podcast.

Freya Graf [00:57:13]:

A few people follow my Instagram account. People, like, look at my content. You start seeing everything you say through this lens of, like, oh my god. Who's gonna be seeing who's gonna be seeing this? Who's gonna potentially be offended or attack me for this? You know? So it is yeah. It's something and I also just wanna always be aware and improving on this. You know?

Laura [00:57:34]:

And I think you brought up a great point there. And I think that when something becomes about a fear of being attacked, Like, just think about that.

Freya Graf [00:57:46]:

Yeah.

Laura [00:57:46]:

It's a fear of being attacked for, like, just even that. Something about that is really screwed up.

Freya Graf [00:57:57]:

I I

Laura [00:57:57]:

just think it's great energy

Freya Graf [00:57:59]:

to be trying to create create from at all. But, you know, also it's like, it's a fear of being attacked, but it's also a fear of hurting someone or offending or doing doing the wrong thing without realizing because of my own ignorance. Like, that that makes me really nervous. I wouldn't I wouldn't ever wanna do that. But at the same time, like, I'm always saying, I'm just real and raw human. I'm not perfect. I don't know what I don't know. And so if they're you know, I'm always encouraging anyone if they hear something that doesn't sit well with them or that they have intel on that I don't based on my, like, limited experience, of, like, certain cultures or whatever, then, like, tell me.

Freya Graf [00:58:36]:

Fucking tell me. I'd love to learn. But, yeah, it's it's nice to hear you articulate a pretty similar thing. Like, you know, it is such an integrated like, everyone's using these words in the West now and not saying that's right or wrong, but it it shouldn't be as harmful as some people make it out to be. You know, there's lots of words that we use that are from other languages that no one bats an eyelid about. And it's like, well, where is the line? Like, what makes what makes it okay and not okay? So it's interesting because, yeah, it is it is very layered, and I could go on about that. But, but, yeah, anyway, thank you for sharing that. It's pretty, like, hard hitting question to drop on you.

Laura [00:59:16]:

It is. Well, I think that it brings up one of the Yoni personality types, which would be the Eve type. Okay? Because in that type, it's like there's an innocence underneath. There's a naturalness, and then, like, shame kind of gets stacked on top. And again, I'm not dismissing all the issues of, cultural appropriation that goes on and things that really can be just so harmful. And then at the same time, it's like we want to and it's interesting with the word and it being, like, a feminine word. It's like, women, we have been really cloaked with so much shame in so many ways, and I just almost feel in in all that a little bit more of the same of that kind of feeling where it's just, like yeah. You know, years ago I'll just share.

Laura [01:00:15]:

There was an experience that happened years ago, so I I I did a lot of research on all of this because I had posted a picture of myself wearing white, and my menstrual blood was coming through the white. And my legs were open to, like so you could see this. And I had the blood my menstrual blood was on my face as well, like, kind of streaked using my fingers to kind of streak. Yeah. Love it. And, it was for International Women's Day. And I posted it, and it became an absolute bomb. Not to like, I I didn't even really like, I didn't think it was a big deal, but it became an absolute bomb to the point of hate groups were formed on Facebook.

Laura [01:01:12]:

Facebook had to step in and start to delete various things. It was really aggressive and really Woah. Really aggressive. And so I started doing research, like, what has happened? What is the issue? What is the problem? And everyone seemed to have different reasons why they thought this was upsetting. And what it to me, I thought, wow. Is it the blood? It's my blood. What what's the you know? And that wasn't even the issue. It was that the word well, some people thought it was very racist.

Laura [01:01:47]:

So you can take that in and and imagine why because I'd actually still to this day don't know. Some people thought it was very racist because I guess I had the blood on my face that some people interpreted as African or native.

Freya Graf [01:02:00]:

Oh, wow.

Laura [01:02:00]:

And other people thought that the use of the word yoni was, horrible. And so having gone through that and literally being attacked, I did the research and came to a place where I was like, you know what? There's nothing wrong with it. There is nothing wrong with it. There's an innocence. There's a beauty. The intention with it is good. The backing to the training is care you know, like, consideration has been done. There's nothing wrong with it.

Laura [01:02:43]:

Now some people may disagree, and that's totally okay. But as the one who's choosing to use the word or choosing to put myself out with that body of work, I feel there's nothing wrong. I'm okay with it. And, you know, after the that situation had happened, and I, you know, did you know, hired people to educate me because I was like, oh my god. What did I do? I must be a terrible person. You know, just shut me down. Put me under a rock. I should never, I should never breathe again.

Laura [01:03:20]:

And then I'm getting this very education. And, you know, it was actually I had hired, different people of color to to work with me and to help me to see. They said to me, you did nothing wrong. Yeah. You did nothing wrong. It took a number of years to just sort of allow myself to be okay with there's it was there's nothing. It's so beautiful. And what what's interesting in a question you had asked earlier, you know, what kind of sex education did I have? And in in school, there was, like, none.

Laura [01:03:57]:

I mean, I got tons of education after from my own effort, my own interest. Absolutely. But there was really none. And then here's a picture of a woman. If you just see it, it it's a oh, yes. I'm a white person, but people don't know my background. Right? Like like, I might look a certain way, but it doesn't mean I don't have a, you know, a a family that has different, like Totally. Of color.

Laura [01:04:22]:

I mean, nobody knows that. That could be true. Right? Like, nobody knows. Anyway, so it's a white person, and I'm wearing all white, and there's blood. And what is so interesting to me is that I think that that is where people can't handle that. They can't handle a woman because people were trying to, like, look for something to be upset about with it. Yeah. Trying to target me.

Laura [01:04:51]:

Trying to make it like I I've done something wrong.

Freya Graf [01:04:56]:

Yeah.

Laura [01:04:56]:

And, you know, so after that and so it's interesting to hear your question, and I feel almost like a bit of a fire in me. I feel like one of the only personality types is, like, force of nature. Right? Where it's like, I I'm not gonna be fucked with anymore. You know? It's like, you know, that's where in that that part where when we take on shame, it just so what? To flatten ourselves for for what purpose? To to what end? For for what? For who? And and I think as women, it's like we're kind of like, we're so quick, and I know I've been so quick to assume the guilt, to assume the shape. Someone's upset, must be my fault. How can I adjust myself for you? But then I'm you know, now I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna I feel. I can feel. I don't need your feelings to tell me how to feel.

Laura [01:05:47]:

I can feel. There's nothing wrong with this. Yeah. So so, yeah, so I feel like there's valid conversation in that, and we all can come to our own place. And then we also have to, like, stand up for ourselves as well. When we have an experience, someone else might look and cause a judgment on me because of the way I look, but they don't know anything about the background. Right? And we had spoken before even, and you didn't know I had all the training, and you didn't know right? People don't know what someone's experience is. And so, you know, equal research on both sides.

Laura [01:06:22]:

If somebody wants to make a statement, do the research on what you're making a statement on. Right? Yeah.

Freya Graf [01:06:28]:

And that's where it's, like, so lacking in these, like, Internet mobbings. Like, these are not people that are, like, necessarily well informed or doing the research. They're jumping on a bandwagon then and they're attacking because Totally. Of usually fear and judgment. Like, I think that, like, what came to mind is, like, people see that photo of you, and they're like, oh my god. A woman who's actually, like, comfortable with her menstrual blood and comfortable to post about this and is actually, like, unashamedly, like, talking about periods and and womanhood. Like, people would be tricked by that and confronted by that. Like, you know, that's that's my, like, immediate thought is, like, that would be this thing that, like, you know, makes them feel a bit, and then they would have just been looking for anything to attack you about.

Freya Graf [01:07:17]:

And then it just snowballs, and it's absolutely fucked. Like, I've spoken about this whole cancel culture and and Internet mobs and all of the PC culture, all of it on this podcast, like, a fair bit. So it is definitely something that I, yeah, I feel strongly about and think about a fair bit. But I love what you have kind of shared around just rather than, you know, being really quick to be like, fuck. I must have fucked up. I'm like a white woman who, you know, like, I must have fucked up, to actually being like, no. You know what? Like, fuck you guys. Like, I am doing my best, and I'm also like, if I'm expending a lot of my energy being afraid, being worried, being really, really, really cautious, and, like, putting all this energy and thought into, like, making sure that I'm not doing the wrong thing or offending people.

Freya Graf [01:08:06]:

Like, of course, you wanna do a bit of that. That's just, like, courtesy and being a good human and a practitioner. But, like, I feel like sometimes too much of my energy goes towards that. And then that detracts from my creativity and my, like, ability to actually, like, put stuff out in the world that's gonna be helpful and inspiring and empowering for people. And so, like, it's really cool that you've come to this place, and it sounds like it took a fair bit of research and a fair bit of, you know, grappling with this issue and learning to be, like, you know what? No. Like, I'm comfortable with where I'm at, and I feel, you know, in my integrity. And so everyone else can just, like, fuck right off with their opinions and their judgments and their and their assumptions. And I feel like I'm getting more and more to that place because it's such a waste of energy to, yeah, to be so worried about other people's opinions.

Freya Graf [01:08:57]:

And, yeah, it's just it's just detracting from, like, the work that I can do in the world and the people that I can help because the people that are gonna be attacking that sort of stuff online, because I've gotten that kind of thing too. You know, those aren't my people. They're not the people that I'm gonna be able to help with my work anyway. They're just trying to tear it down. So, yeah, super interesting. I'm glad I asked. You were the perfect person to ask. This is probably the best best answer and conversation I've gotten out of that question so far.

Laura [01:09:26]:

I think everyone kinda tiptoes around because there is such a threat to being attacked, to being canceled, to being, you know, just bullied, shamed, whatever, all those things. And believe me, it's not fun. Nobody wants that. No. You don't want it. It's not fun. It's like you know, and I actually I did go quiet for a while because I was like, is it even worth it? You know? Like, who cares? Like, let me just do my thing in private because what's the point? But then I thought, you know what? No. Yeah.

Laura [01:10:04]:

No. Like, just no. No. Someone someone else's wound going to shut down my life? I don't know. I mean, I I almost you know, I can almost feel the little the little echoes of the trauma kinda even in this. Like, I'm not sure probably what's gonna come out of that. But Totally.

Freya Graf [01:10:28]:

Hey. Me again. If you'd like to support the the potty and you've already given it 5 stars on whatever platform you're listening on, I wanna mention that you can buy some really dope merch from the website and get yourself a labia lounge tote, tea, togs. Yep. You heard that right. I even have labia lounge bathers or a cute fanny pack if that'd blow your hair back. So, if fashion isn't your passion though, you can donate to my buy me a coffee donation page, which is actually called buy me a soy chai latte because I'll be the first to admit, I'm a bit of a Melbourne cafe tosser like that. And yes, that is my coffee order.

Freya Graf [01:11:07]:

You can do a one soft donation or an ongoing membership and sponsor me for as little as 3 fat ones a month. And I also have a Sunroom profile over on the Sunroom app as I've mentioned, and I also offer 1 on 1 coaching and online courses that'll help you level up your sex life and relationship with yourself and others in a really big way. So every bit helps because it ain't cheap to put out a sweet podcast, into the world every week out of my own pocket. So I will be undyingly grateful if you support me and my biz financially in any of these ways. And if you like, I'll even give you a mental BJ with my mind from the lounge itself. Salty. And, I'll pop the links in the show notes. Thank you.

Freya Graf [01:11:50]:

Later. Alright. Well, do you wanna wrap up by just telling us a little bit about Yoni Art Fest because that's coming up, and I'm really stoked to be part of it and, yeah, just get a little bit of info around what that's all about.

Laura [01:12:04]:

Totally. Totally. So, Yoni Art Fest, yes, coming up June 5th to 9th, and this is it's basically a gathering of women of many different backgrounds from all over the world and different sort of cultural influences and so on and speaking about their empowered womanhood and exploring that. So the whole theme of this is to explore, express, and embody our empowered womanhood. And so within that, there's interviews. Freya, you're one of the people who's speaking in Yoni Art Fest. Interviews with people, and then there's different rituals and practices to connect with your primal root, your empowered womanhood, healing practices, participate in Yoni Art Fest, and when we we did some things before where we're getting people to, like, you know, connect with their Yoni and create sketches and so on, and then we made a giant art piece that includes, like, hundreds of these sketches of women from all over the world expressing their Yoni. So when we do Yoni Art Fest, there's there's interviews, there's different kind of ritual and creative things to explore, and then there is, like, this global art piece aspect that that's my favorite part in a way in this.

Laura [01:13:26]:

I love all of it. Like, all of it contributes to that. Like, the interviews, the rituals, it's like getting the the wheels turning, getting, like, you know, Yoni juiced up and healing and, like, all the things so that we we express. Right? We express and we embody. And then in that, there's a global art piece that kind of represents that experience of of all these people gathering and and they're kind of where where they are with their yoni, where they are with their sexuality. So so it's a beautiful gathering. It is online, so people can be anywhere. And, yeah, it's coming up.

Laura [01:14:00]:

I'm super excited.

Freya Graf [01:14:02]:

Oh, love it. And that that global art piece I saw last year, and it's, yeah, it's pretty phenomenal idea. I love love that you've put this together, and it's so nice to be part of it. So I think when this episode airs, it'll be, like, smack bang around that time that Yoni Art Fest is on, so that works out well. Gorgeous. And, yeah, highly recommend everyone going and checking out Laura's Instagram. Just like the colors and the art and the, yeah, the variety. Like, it's all so stunning and so embodied and, yeah, just so super worth having a look at and following.

Freya Graf [01:14:39]:

So thank you so much, Laura. Is there anything else that you felt like you wanted to share just to kind of conclude, or do you feel pretty pretty complete?

Laura [01:14:48]:

I think that just giving ourselves the space as women to be a whole being, to have a whole self, a whole experience of ourselves, not just having to be one way. And maybe that was the skepticism with the quiz. You know, this idea of like, oh, and now you're just in this box

Freya Graf [01:15:03]:

or something. You know, all the things, you know, whether

Laura [01:15:03]:

it's with the quiz or

Freya Graf [01:15:04]:

any

Laura [01:15:05]:

Yoni Art Fest or any of the things that I do, they're doorways to discover and deepen the intimacy to your whole self and and who you're here to be in that capacity. So I think anything that calls us into that wholeness where we have the safety to be what we are and, you know, and, like, that that's sexually empowering. Right? And and so, yeah, I feel like and it's scary. It's scary. This is not it's not normal. Like, that's not nor that's not the normal way for women. Women usually do have to sit in a certain box so that it's appealing to someone else or that it's okay for someone else or or no one's gonna be upset. And, you know, it's like as if the woman's responsible for everyone else's experience and to be blamed for everybody else's experience.

Laura [01:16:04]:

And and that that just robs our sexuality because it takes what is ours and makes it as if it's for everybody else. But it isn't. Totally. It isn't. It's it's for your primal life force. It's your root. It's your support system. And so, you know, it's, like, kind of bringing that back from everybody else's opinion, everybody else's need for someone to be a certain way or whatever.

Laura [01:16:29]:

It's, like, and, like, just sit in our root. Be what we are. Right? Doesn't mean we can't learn and can't grow and we're gonna be stubborn and or whatever. No. It's like we gotta have a foundation. We have to have our own support system. So it's like bringing it back to ourself, getting to know ourself, what is real, what is true? Who are we really? What is our own innocence? What is natural? And in that, I believe that is beauty and that is goodness. Right? And as soon as innocence gets blamed for something, it's like, wait a second.

Laura [01:17:00]:

Wait a second. So so, yeah, so allowing space for the wholeness of a woman in all of the aspects, when she's numb, when she shut down, when she's ecstatic, when she's silly and giddy and she's, like, frolicking to when she's, like, raging. Like, there's space for all of it, and we can we can get to know ourselves. We can get to know our own rhythm of, like, what what our needs are. How can we honor ourselves? What what what is our path? What is our truth? Right? So all of that is our sexuality.

Freya Graf [01:17:34]:

Fuck. Yeah. Killed it. Love it. Thank you. I love the way your brain works and how you articulate these things. I'm gonna put the link to Yoni Art Fest and the link to do the Yoni personality quiz in the show notes, as well as Laura's website, Instagram. Go check it out.

Freya Graf [01:17:55]:

Thank you so much for your time, Laura. It's so lovely having you. And that's it, darling hearts. Thank you for stopping by the labia lounge. Your bum groove in the couch will be right where you left it, just waiting for you to sink back in for some more double l action next time. And in the meantime, if you'd be a dear and subscribe, share this episode or leave a review on iTunes, then you can pat yourself on the snatch because that, my dear, is a downright act of sex positive feminist activism. And you'd be supporting my vision to educate, empower, demystify and destigmatise with this here podcast. Also, I'm always open to feedback, topic ideas that you'd love to hear covered or guest suggestions.

Freya Graf [01:18:39]:

So feel free to get in touch via my website atfrerograph.com or say hi over on Insta. My handle is freya_graf_ymt, and I seriously hope you're following me on there because damn, we have fun. We have fun. Anyway, later labial legends. I'll see you next time.