Mental Health, Tech, Emotional Awareness and Changing The World

Nicole [00:00:00]:

This program is brought to you by Pussy Magnets.

Freya Graf [00:00:11]:

Welcome welcome, my lovely lumps, or should I say lovely labs? I'm so thrilled to have you here in the Labia Lounge to yarn about All things sexuality, womanhood, holistic health, and everything in between, your legs. Can never help myself. Anyway, we're gonna have vagloads of real chats with real people about real shit. So buckle up. You're about to receive the sex ed that you'd never had, and have a bloody good laugh while you're at it. Before we get stuck in, I'd like to respectfully acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which I'm recording this, the Penang people. It's an absolute privilege to be living and creating dope podcast content on Noongar country, and I pay respect to their elders past, present, and emerging. Now, if you're all ready, let's flap and do this.

Freya Graf [00:01:02]:

Oh, god. Is there such thing as too many vagina jokes in the one intro? Whatever. I'm leaving it in. It's my podcast. Hey, my labial legends. Welcome back to the lounge. Today, I've got myself a very impressive and inspiring guest to chat about mental health And a really cool global solution that's currently in the works with which she plans to change the entire face of mental health and, in fact, all health across the planet. So that sounds like a pretty massive mission, I know, but let me introduce my guest and give you a taste of what she's capable of, and then we'll chat because, yeah, this This woman is just, like, so phenomenal, and I'm constantly inspired and surprised by what she's up to.

Freya Graf [00:01:55]:

So Nicole Gibson is a modern day philosopher redefining what it means to be an entrepreneur. Obsessed by love's power to affect change, Nicole's focus is to Facilitate a tipping point in human consciousness to successfully actualize a civilization of love by 2030. Combining the intersections of visionary technology, transformative arts, and complex systems thinking, Nicole is building a bridge To an entirely new way of living and being for humanity. While leading events and facilitating experiences for over 1,000,000 people, Nicole identified a code The unlocked humanity's greatest potential spanning from the establishment of a charitable organization to becoming the youngest Commonwealth commissioner in history To launching a social movement with a reach across 40 countries, Nicole's main preoccupation is to leverage love's Power to transform and scale it to 350,000,000 people globally. Listed as Australia's top 100 most influential women, Finalist for young Australian of the year and pride of Australia medalist, Nicole is just getting started. And, like, that is just gotta that's gotta be the most intense bio I've ever read out. There is so much in there.

Nicole [00:03:12]:

Thank you. Powerhouse. Welcome, Nick. Thank you. It's such a pleasure to be

Freya Graf [00:03:18]:

here. Oh my god. I just cannot keep up with You and what you're yeah. How old are you at the moment?

Nicole [00:03:26]:

30 years old.

Freya Graf [00:03:28]:

Dude, I can't even yeah. You are a unique human being. I can't even imagine what you are gonna have achieved by the time you're actually 70. Give us a bit of a rundown on Your journey and how you kinda wound up being like when I met you, you were actually the youngest Commonwealth commissioner. And, obviously, very passionate about mental health. Because of your own journey, you're feel free to share as much or as little of, your journey with that as you like, but maybe just give us a bit of bit of the backstory of of Nicole.

Nicole [00:04:00]:

For sure. Yeah. Let's let's go there, and Feel free to guide the conversation, in into the the areas and and the corridors that would be most interesting to to your audience. Then, you know, I think what comes to mind in, in this question first, 1st and foremost is, what really creates drive in someone? Cause I think, definitely drive can be somewhat innate, but I think, you know, nurture and life experience also has a lot to do with it. And I know for me it was definitely those experiences Parents is through childhood and adolescence that created, I guess just this in insatiable obsession to wanna drive change In the world to the to the point that, it's just not something I could ignore anymore. And I guess Some people reflect that and have reflected that over the years as something I'm very lucky to have found, which is definitely true. I think having a life that is purpose driven, mission driven is, is a massive blessing. And you know, there's, there's another side to that, which is, I can't not do it.

Nicole [00:05:12]:

And so imagine being in a relationship with something that, that you feel, you know, no matter what is kind of Pushing you and propelling you. And I guess the the the dark side of that, and I know on the show we talk about kind of, you know, the the the the real shit and the 2 birds is, the, the other side of that is it can be, something that I've got to manage, you know, like being ambitious to the point that you at times ignore reality for instance, is I think a pain point that many visionaries experience That isn't really discussed. So all that being said, maybe that's content we can jump into. I went through A needing disorder through my teenage years. Essentially driven by, I think, substantial amounts of change in transition through childhood. So I went to many different schools, about 8 different schools, between Australia and and the UK. Almost a school year. The first, well, actually a school year for the first, fair few years of of schooling.

Nicole [00:06:20]:

And then left mainstream school at 14 to pursue performance and a couple of other, I think, you know, traumas and and things that happened to me. Basically, it was a A cocktail of, it was kind of the perfect cocktail to, to drive eating disordered behaviors, which, which really anchored in That's just a need to feel in control. I think, my my need to feel like I could control something in my life. And I think also exacerbated by the fact that I was at 14 going to an excellence academy for performance and had a Undeniable pressure from the industry and then the pressure I put on myself to to fit a certain kind of, idea of perfection, and then my natural kind of tendencies towards, you know, wanting to achieve that That perfection. And so all that being said, I guess, in the experience, Someone that's gone through an eating disorder, they would understand. And someone that, that hasn't, I'll do my best to try and explain. It's really like, It's like being in a prison inside your own mind in the sense that, you know, the complex thing about an eating disorder, unlike Most other disorders or illnesses is you don't want to get better. And I think that's the biggest differentiating factor.

Nicole [00:07:53]:

Like if, if you have cancer, you want to get better, I would say. No, I think that's a fair assumption. If you, if you have Yeah. Another another illness is there's something in you that, you know, doesn't wanna be in that state of suffering, but for someone that's not going through anorexia, You know, you wanna do anything to protect the illness. And so you're in a psychological frame of mind where Your mind really is going against everything that should be innate. You know, how innate desire impulse to wanna nourish ourselves, feed ourselves, Look after ourselves. It it's just not there. And in fact, it's the opposite.

Nicole [00:08:32]:

Your tendency is, is self punishment. Yeah. So it's it's complex. You know? And I think that, being met with how the health system sees, I think it's improved somewhat since then, but going back 15 years ago, eating disorders, anorexia in particular, Like the actual diagnosis means loss of appetite. So it's seen as a physical condition for starters, but it's just physical loss of Which is

Freya Graf [00:09:00]:

really, oh, what?

Nicole [00:09:02]:

Not true, you know, at all. And, and so it's treated as such, you know, a lot of the time the, the deeper layers, the psychological layers around self love, are just not part of therapy. And so it can, that can, that can also create a lot of trauma, you know, cause you, you, you, You're taking away the the the match the metric of control that is keeping that person in a sense of feeling safe. You're not replacing it with anything. And then you're confronting that person with something that's deeply traumatic, you know, multiple times a day and expecting them to kill. And on the other side of that, socially, because it's a very physical condition, I really got to see, you know, very visibly people's reaction to mental illness, you know, and and I think beyond mental illness, what people perceived as vulnerability and fragility because it was visible. And Yeah. In that experience, it was just so clear that we're so uncomfortable with being in the presence of anything that's really vulnerable.

Nicole [00:10:15]:

And then what happens as a as a result of that, for the most part, is we unconsciously reject, What's in front of us? Because we we don't know how to feel comfortable with that. And then that, you know, in turn dehumanises someone, making it so difficult to heal. And so I became very passionate about addressing that because where my mind went to was, well, I'm just, you know, 1 1 person that's dealing with meaning sort of what other major points of pain and vulnerability are we not addressing as a world, and what problems aren't we solving as a result of not being willing to get uncomfortable? And that was, I guess that the, the instigation of this drive in me to wanna, to want to find out, to wanna do my best to to ease that suffering in some way in the

Freya Graf [00:11:09]:

world. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Makes so much sense. I mean, that's why I got into the work I'm doing now as well, you know, that just used to be such a huge, area of suffering and pain And challenge and and, yeah, just wanna be able to help as many people as possible in that department. So it's kind of a similar thing. And I really resonate with, Yeah.

Freya Graf [00:11:32]:

Feeling like because most of the time, I'm like, the only way I wanna live is by being so purpose led And having such a strong vision and passion and being so inspired by what I'm doing, and that's why I get out of bed. That's why I slog it out with this business. And then a small percentage of the time, I'm, like, fuck though. Wouldn't ignorance just be bliss? I wish I didn't have such a strong drive to, like, You know, make a difference.

Nicole [00:11:56]:

Change the world. Overcome.

Freya Graf [00:11:58]:

Yeah. Oh my god. It's just exhausting, and it is like a bit of a it's it's so rewarding and nourishing. And obviously, We wouldn't have it any other way, but it's definitely, you know, a huge responsibility and can feel like a bit of a burden. And, like, I've been wondering, you know, looking at your accolades and just thinking like, woah. Like, how the fuck do you have time for dating or for your own self care, and, like, how does that show up in relationship? Like, do you find that because you've got such huge Ambition and your vision is so important. It's like your top priority. Like, does that make it difficult to find someone that you're compatible with or to, like, have space for a

Nicole [00:12:38]:

relationship? Yeah. I mean, that's a really interesting question. I feel like, you know, I'm now At 30 in a different place with all of this, but to reflect on my relationships in my early, mid, And even, you know, late twenties in in some ways, but I think definitely early to mid twenties. I think the most painful part of it was when you become very developed in the area of Career and you start getting social kind of proof that what you're doing is is working, at a very young age, you know, I was very, I was 18 when I, when I started this journey and I start, I, I got quite a lot of success quickly. Doesn't mean that I was emotionally developed. And so you have the world, you know, saying yes to your success, putting you On a pedestal and then in in my relationships, I think what used to happen a lot was My partners would also see, that professional status and have an expectation of how I would be in an intimate context. And I had a lot of trauma still that I hadn't resolved. And I, I don't feel like I had a lot of forgiveness of that, you know, because I was constantly being held to this idea of who I was on, on stage, Which, you know and I think what human beings really struggle with a lot of the time and what I'm passionate about helping people remember is just because someone, you know, is, contradicts themselves in some ways.

Nicole [00:14:25]:

Doesn't make it less genuine. Like I can hand on heart say that every time I've Stood on stage or facilitated someone, my heart has been a 100% there. I've never felt like I've Faked it till I've made it. You know, every every word I've said in my professional career has been anchored in a deep sense of, But this is truly what I believe and that that can be true and you can still be working on yourself simultaneously. You know, and I think that we, we sometimes lose, empathy and we lose compassion and we, we lose, yeah, the ability to humanize someone when there's a cloud to what they've accomplished. Yeah. You know? And we start to sort of wanna pick it apart as if it's not real. And Definitely in my 1st few relationships.

Nicole [00:15:27]:

And I don't say this to kind of disown my responsibility in in why the relationships didn't work, I'm deeply flawed human being, you know, and, and, and constantly evolving and growing. And then I hope that After, you know, 15 years of of of dating, I feel like I'm finally understanding what it means to to build a secure foundation. And so To be radically honest and transparent and put everything on the table and work through challenges and be emotionally stable and have my own back and meet my own needs and all those things that all of us ultimately want to get to. I feel like, you know, I really am arriving in this beautiful place, But managing all of the success and having a huge amount of, I guess, adoration in a lot of ways publicly, definitely made it difficult to face where I actually was in an intimate setting in an in an in an intimate context. And I was also traveling constantly. So, you know, the contrast of Touring, speaking on stages, doing book signings, like, having so so much, like, of that admiration from the public, and then going back So a partner that really hadn't experienced any of that with me. You know? I think especially in my, like from 22 maybe to 25, I went through a phase where I actually really didn't know how to handle that. And I relied heavily on, escapism.

Nicole [00:17:09]:

Like my partner and I at the time partied heaps, you know, and, and I, I definitely was abusing, sobriety, to, to, to just deal with not knowing how to land, you know, into any kind of normality. And I, I didn't, you know, I wanted to feel connected to my partner at the time and I didn't know how to get her to understand what I Was dealing with, and so that that's what we would default to. And that was a very kind of painful, that was a very painful thing. That was a that was a hole I had to climb out of, because it put me in odds ultimately with my integrity as a leader. But that was it's a deep journey. You know? It's an existential journey to manage those 2 those 2 worlds, and I think many leaders, Have struggled with this. I mean, people reference Gandhi apparently was a terrible father, you know, and he was like the, this is the spiritual leader of, of the, of the millennia. And I think that these contradictions are a common thing.

Nicole [00:18:16]:

And, you know, interestingly, I, I just, Just got my, my 2nd book in my hands yesterday. I have it here with me. It's, it's, it's for legacy disorder and it explores these these ideas where, the pursuit of legacy, and the the obsession with wanting to Succeed how it often will create radical, like delusions in our personal life Because we become unwilling to look at ourselves. And the journey of writing this book really was about becoming a congruent human being, Showing up with my mum and dad and my partner and my friends as I do, you know, the world, and and knowing what that means.

Freya Graf [00:19:04]:

Massive. I gotta get myself a copy of that book. Congrats.

Nicole [00:19:08]:

Thank you. Yeah.

Freya Graf [00:19:10]:

Yeah. I feel like, The more clout you have and the more well known or, you know, pedestalized you become, The less forgiving people are Mhmm. If you're, you know, like, hearing Gandhi was a bad father, it's like, are you kidding me? Like, well, how dare he? And I don't feel way, but I'm sure, like, a lot of people would be very, very, feel quite betrayed by that and be like, what a fraud, what a phony. Right. But it's like, you know, people who have got such a massive, you know, they've got the world on their shoulders when they have That much, responsibility, and they can affect that much change, and they're doing such huge things. They've got such a large mission for, like, 1 person. It makes sense to me that, you know, there might be less space left over to, like, develop as, you know, an emotionally intelligent Regulated balanced human in other areas. And, you know, if anything, there should be more compassion for that.

Freya Graf [00:20:10]:

Agree. And I guess, Yeah. It's it's just tricky when someone glorifies you or has you on this pedestal, and you are doing such amazing stuff. I feel like it happens a lot. You know, we wanna raise women up, and we're all encouraging and excited when they're on the incline. And then they reach a certain level of fame or popularity, Polarity, and all of a sudden, we're picking them apart. We're tearing them down. And if there's a single, you know, discrepancy between, like, the way that we see them On this, you know, beautiful golden pedestal, we're just, like, super unforgiving about that.

Freya Graf [00:20:45]:

And it's just, like, how dare they? And it's, like, well, we're all Flawed humans. Like yeah. It's it's must be very tricky to, like, bear the weight of, like, Just being so well known and having people, yeah, look up to you or idolize you for whatever reason, like, that's so much pressure, I can imagine.

Nicole [00:21:05]:

Yeah. I mean, it's a, it's a point that I've become, I think through the writing process, cause I've explored it so deeply, you know, what is the, sort of obsessive need we have as a society to, to, to, to judge once someone meets, I think any kind of criteria that society has deemed as the most important thing. So if you're Successful in a financial, you know, capacity, or if you've made a huge impact in the world, so you have influence or you're beautiful. I think that's another, that's another kind of privilege that's shrouded in, in a lot of bias. If you have these things, because society has put so much weight on that, there's this unconscious perception that, You know, that is everything. If you if you have that, then there must be no problems in your life. And I'm not going to give you any space or compassion because you have that success or you have that beauty. Therefore everything must be fine because there's an unconscious belief for a lot of us that once we have those things, all of our problems will magically go away.

Nicole [00:22:16]:

And what I really what I really encourage you to understand is these things magnify the problems you currently have. You know, there's a there's a saying that I really love, which is everyone wants dollars, but not everyone wants $1,000,000 problems. And you know, the, the insecurities you have now, if you were to add fame, if you were to add social status, power influence, if you were to add Huge amounts of affluence and wealth. Whatever those securities are now just become magnified. It makes you more of what you already are. And that's why it's so important to address these things, you know, as, as you rise, if you really do want to go on a journey of, Of success. If you wanna go on a journey of, becoming an influential person in the world, addressing these things so that you're no longer, Again, that's a paradox identified with that success is so important, knowing who you are separate to that success. And I think that that's really the only way that you can do it sustainably, that you can do it in a way that, that really is anchored in integrity because as soon as there's As soon as you're trying to get a sense of worth or a sense of, you know, power from anything external, you instantly become corruptible.

Nicole [00:23:43]:

You instantly become someone that will have some kind of, you know, weak point, that can be manipulated because there's a need that you have that, that you're not fulfilling within you. And I think they're in live like the biggest, issue that we have as a Western society is we haven't learned to not externalize these things. We haven't, we haven't valued out interiority more than what we see, on the outside. And I think, You know, my next few years of advocacy as a thought leader is really about this. It's, it's helping people and leaders understand You've gotta be right with you and anything you build, you know, on a foundation that's not that is in some way perpetuating the same issues in the world.

Freya Graf [00:24:41]:

Yeah. Massive. Yeah. Totally. Something that I was just thinking about is we're so especially, like, in in the west, we're so Often, like, devoid of culture and tradition and this sort of rich foundation, and we're so desperate for role models. Combine that with really, really, like, strong inner critics and perfectionism, and all of a sudden, we have, like, no room to forgive our role models that we've all of a sudden adopted and idolized and put our expectations and projections on, you know, if they don't meet our criteria or if they don't live up to our kind of Expectation of what we believe they should be, and it's it's just like yeah. I I I like to be as transparent As possible and as authentic as possible about my flaws and my struggles and challenges because, like, I've got zero interest in People putting me on a pedestal and being like, oh, she's a sex expert. She must just be, like, so incredible and great at every single thing to do with sex and have no issues with, You know, intimacy or her relationships, and it's just like yeah.

Freya Graf [00:25:44]:

I don't find that helpful to perpetuate that, and I just think perfectionism is, like, Oh oh my god. Just the devil. It's it's a bad

Nicole [00:25:51]:

time. Yeah. So true. I think that there's an interesting point here too, which is Where does that, where does that lack of forgiveness come from, you know, in the, in the mainstream populace? And I think, Again, one of the things I've been thinking about is the the 2 types of of power that kind of exist in the world. The first being Power and control, which I think is what most of us are used to seeing from powerful figures in our world, that the way they've risen to How I maintain power is through mechanics of control, fear, oppression, separation. And I think what we need to move into is a paradigm of, power and love that there's a true powerfulness that comes from love. And because that's so rare, what I think has happened again unconsciously in that projection that the mainstream have on powerful figures is actually we, we unconsciously judge who we would be In that position of power. Yeah.

Nicole [00:26:52]:

And we innately don't trust ourselves. So if if you're relating to someone that has power, there's a part of me that's like, well, I wouldn't be an integral person if I had that much power. Therefore I don't trust This this leader. And I think, again, it's a real invitation for us to look at the parts of ourselves that we don't trust, the parts of ourselves that are not in our power. And, you know, why haven't we claimed our power? Because if if all of us could feel congruent and comfortable and safe and Integra inside our own power, then we will all be powerful. So the fact that many people feel powerless, I think is kind of indicative of, yeah, just, I don't want to say broken, but A challenged relationship with ourselves.

Freya Graf [00:27:46]:

Yep. Yeah. It's a bit dysfunctional, isn't it?

Nicole [00:27:49]:

That's right.

Freya Graf [00:27:52]:

So your kinda main focus at the moment is to do with tech, that you're using to do some really cool AI stuff. They'll kinda help realize that vision of actualizing a civilization of love, and I'm kind of Always just, like, amazed at how ballsy and bold that, like, declaration is. Like, it's enormous. Like, what a big mission. Gonna Civilization lies a civilization of love by 2030. And, like, you know, when I've when I've, I was preparing for this podcast and I told my partner about Your mission, and he was kinda like, what does that, like, what does that even mean? How do you measure that? What does that look like? You know? And I think it's, like, so, like, so big that people struggle to actually wrap their head around what that would even mean and how you would make that happen. So I'd love you to just talk us through a bit about, yeah, this this thing that you've got going on right now Totally. Because it's pretty exciting.

Freya Graf [00:28:48]:

Hey, babe town. So sorry to interrupt, but I simply had to pop my head into the lounge here and mention another The virtual lounge that you've got to get around. It's the Labia Lounge Facebook group that I've created for listeners of the potty to mingle in. And there you'll find extra bits and bobs like freebies or discounts for offerings from guests who've been interviewed on the podcast, Inspiring and thought provoking conversations, and support from a community of labial legends. So head over to the links in the show notes, and I'll hopefully see you in there. And now back to the episode.

Nicole [00:29:24]:

Thank you. Yeah. And it's my highest my highest joy. So, I mean, let's let's bring some definition to it. A civilization, in general, but specifically in how we define it As a team, is a a series of systems. So when you think about the civilization that we live in right now, it's made up of systems of Economics, systems of education, systems of, technology, systems of health, so on and so forth. And all of those systems come together to create a a society, or a civilization. And so When we say civilization, we we essentially mean a series of systems, a a set of new systems that that Well, she's not sure, but they can be built, in, an economy of love.

Nicole [00:30:17]:

And so that firstly focuses on what are the philosophical foundations of these systems, to, you know, how, how are these systems actually designed? So what are the, what, what are the values and what's the philosophy? And then what is the actual mechanics? There's a lot within our existing society and our existing systems that, take education as an example, that pin one against the other. So the actual design, you know, like the, the, the way that, a high school student will be marked is on a, for the most part, a bell curve. So it's, It's a comparative system, and that's how the system's designed, which is that's what what a lot of people don't understand is that's a function of design. We can redesign it. When you look at our system of economy, you know, the fact that it's a capped market. So the fact that entrepreneurs are fighting for market share, that's because it's a capped market. So there's only a certain amount of money in the world, which is also what causes inflation. Again, that's a, that's a systems design for if you think about it in the context of, What's actually possible, which is systems that are truly infinite, truly abundant.

Nicole [00:31:35]:

And that comes down to Values like, love, trust, generosity. You know, when when you have, systems that are built on these kinds of principles and not competitiveness, which is what our existing systems are ultimately built on health is similar. Like those that better treatment are the ones that can afford better treatment. That's especially true here in the, in the United States. Yeah. So, you know, what what a lot of people say is that that that our systems are broken. And I I argue that point. It's systems are perfectly designed to do what systems do.

Nicole [00:32:13]:

The, the, the system is perfectly designed to create the outcomes it's creating. So So it's really less about thinking how do we fix the current system and more about, in my opinion, thinking how do we design Systems from a completely different foundation. And I think that really matters because we will, as we've seen many other civilisations before the west fall in, you know, you know, history books, the west will, will to reach that, That point. And I think with the rise of artificial intelligence, it's, it's inevitable that some of the very key pillars that hold our economy in place right now, like value is human effort in, in today's economy. That's, that's what drives value gold. When it's sitting in a mine, doesn't actually we have value globally has value once it's been extracted, by, by man and, and processed and then put on the market. So So it's that human effort that creates value. Now, a lot of that, idea around value, which Simply put it's time.

Nicole [00:33:22]:

You know, most people in the world, the trading time for money that's no longer gonna be relevant because of Artificial intelligence. So a lot of the the manual labor that has been, basically how people have created a livelihood, will become obsolete. So that poses far more of an existential question to me than that does a practical one. Because the question that really comes up is, what is meaning? How do I how do we create meaning in my life if it's no longer defined by what I do? If once upon a time, you know, this is probably the last book, unless I really just wanna do it for the love, I'm never gonna write that is is me sitting down on a laptop writing every single word, because the The system's now available to be able to write a book. You know, I what what took me 6 months, realistically, I could do in a week. I can I can train an AI model on everything I've ever written? I can prompt it, you know, around the subject matters that I wanna write on. I can I can train it to understand the framework? It's gonna write exactly like me. It's gonna be it's gonna convey all of my ideas through the prompts and the guidance I've given the artificial Intelligence and it will be done.

Nicole [00:34:42]:

So there's a part of me that identified with with this identity of an author. Right. And the the reason I identified with it, the thing that I found kind of self Worth and value in was my tenacity and discipline to be able to sit down and write a book because, because not everyone can do that. Oh, no. Not everyone, has been able to do that, but, you know, that that playing field, is about to be levelled out. Every single person should have a book, you know? So they're very philosophical fundamental shifts that we're going through societally right now, whether you're aware of it or not, that will compound majorly in the next 1, 3, 5, 10 years. And I want Love Out Loud to really be at the forefront of of that transition because our systems will fall. They're already falling.

Nicole [00:35:39]:

And so what are gonna be the new systems that that rise? And, I mean, there's a lot of work to be done. Our kind of key focus at the moment is In in launching our accelerator, so we've we reimagined and then, transformed the work we've done with our Mastercard alumni Into, a full 6 month accelerated program. And that was after really reviewing, analyzing, chatting to to, to, to people that did the program and really understanding, you know, the, the support entrepreneurs need in our world right now is actually much more in-depth than, what our previous systems could really extract. It's it's really about holding the entrepreneurs hands through all of these modules to get them market ready so that they can really be at the forefront of that, of that movement, you know, of, of the future of business. And I always believe deeply in entrepreneurship as the architects of our world. You know, an entrepreneur is an artist in the three d, the, The art is creating the world, you know, the, the, the creating the system. And so I think that that That's huge. That that's really important.

Nicole [00:36:55]:

That really matters. Creating an ecosystem that can empower the founders that are building the solutions of the future. So it's not just So we're doing it together as a series of leaders that are prepared to take on, these major problems and find meaningful solutions. Yeah. And then and then the technology, it's like our state of being is the the crew the most crucial ingredient. So we need tools, and I believe technology is one of the best tools to be able to support us to master our state, Master our emotional body so that we can remain level and centered and, and and be masterful in how we're showing up in the world. And so that's Actually, the positioning of in truth tech is a tech that's measuring your emotional state in real time and and giving you feedback on your emotional patterns. So that rather than sitting in therapy for the next 50 years, you know, 2 weeks of tracking can give you massive We deep and important insights in into you so that you can work through them, you know, much much

Freya Graf [00:38:02]:

faster. Yeah. Yeah. I fall into the, habit pretty frequently of getting really terrified about what technology is Doing and how it's impacting mental health negatively. And then I just have to remember that, you know, there's also the other side of it, which is people like You and all of the entrepreneurs that are gonna go through your accelerator program and just, yeah, all of these incredible, like, visionaries that will be using technology, You know, to try to to try to actually improve mental health and to counteract the damage that is being done, by, like, just how quickly, Yeah. The landscape is shifting and and people's existential dread that comes from that. So I I tend to be a bit of a I've always been a little bit, like, resistant to technology. I think, like, the time that I was born and just I don't know.

Freya Graf [00:38:53]:

I'm just slightly too old to have gotten on the on the wave, and so, like, I didn't have, like, social media until I was in my twenties and stuff like That's so I've been very resistant and bit of a luddite, and I kind of have had to try to, you know, learn to do more than just check my emails because I run a business now, and I've started a podcast and, you know, created online courses, and I've been, like, you know, YouTube tutorialing my way along. But I'm still just, like, so set in my ways in in a lot of regards, and it really scares me that I'm just gonna Totally left behind and obsolete, and I won't be able to keep up with, you know, tech. And then to add to that, all of the kind of, pressures and The way that, you know, even just social media alone, like, influences mental health, and how I'm noticing that manifesting in everyone in my life. It's horrifying. And so it it makes sense that technology would also hold the key to to counteracting that. So, like, tell me more about this app that you're creating, to kind of use as a tool to get this this civilization of love Happening and and how you're going how that works, how you're gonna actually measure whether it's, you know, shifting the needle, Like some of the ins and outs of the the really, like, practical, tangible elements of this.

Nicole [00:40:16]:

Yeah. Let's let's get technical. So, I'm hearing you want me to kind of explain how we've developed the technology. I think, a really important thing to understand, which I've, I've developed through becoming a tech founder, you know, a lot more of an appreciation of than when I was simply a tech consumer is I had this kind of idea that tech was an iPhone, you know, that, that tech was a, a laptop. And what I've come to understand is technology is, again, it's a system of thinking, you know, like when you think about The way a visual artist sees the world, there's a, you know, a watercolorist is thinking in that frame. They're thinking, how do I How do I recreate this image that I see in my mind or that I wanna paint? What, what is, what, how do I wanna put these colors together? How do I want the paint to bleed? You know, there's a whole kind of process that that visual artists will go through to create a painting. And To me, technology is far more about how you manufacture, how you engineer. It's probably about, way of describing it, how you engineer a, a solution, in a way that creates Something infinitely scalable, you know, because the wheel is as much of a technology as the iPhone.

Freya Graf [00:41:45]:

Yeah.

Nicole [00:41:45]:

True. It completely revolutionized the world at scale. It really did think like before we had the wheel, we only, we could, we could only walk. So that was a massive, that was a massive innovation. It was a technology. So I was thinking it was solving this problem first and foremost, And and the problem was how do we move quicker? It wasn't the the person that created a wheel wasn't thinking how do I create a wheel. The person that created a real we're always thinking, how do I move faster in the world? And I think that that's very important to understand that that Tech visionaries, you know, I can almost guarantee you Steve Jobs wasn't thinking how do I create an iPhone. He was thinking how do I revolutionise communication.

Nicole [00:42:26]:

How do I make communication even more available? How do I make information even more available Far before the specs and the designs of the iPhone came to be the how was secondary. And so I think that's important to understand because when I entered the field of tech, I wasn't thinking, how do I become a tech founder? I was focused on How do I transform the emotional awareness of a world in an infinitely scalable way? I was obsessed with that. I was obsessed with that question. And the question led me to understand that The process of how technology is developed and engineered is the most effective way of solving that problem at scale. But I went down many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many rabbit holes, you know, many systems of creation before I landed there. And then even once I had landed there, there was still so many unknowns, you know, like what is emotion? Isn't emotion like subjective. How do you, how do you get an objective measurement of emotion? You know, what technology, you know, what, because technology, you know, leans on data. Like what, what data do we need to be collecting in order to get an insight, you know, all of these things were unknown.

Nicole [00:43:47]:

I didn't, I didn't know. So it was a huge process. I took a year, just doing research and development, exploring different biotechnologies. What signals are giving us insight? Why hasn't this been done? You know, emotion is such a it's such an untapped, you know, part of human potential. Why is no one doing this? One of the points of feedback that I got consistently was emotion's subjective. You cannot objectively measure it. What's so fascinating is that's not actually true. And that's probably been one of the biggest breakthroughs in my understanding.

Nicole [00:44:26]:

That emotion is the almost immediate, so within 0.2 of a millisecond. So 0.2 of a second, so 200 milliseconds, you have an emotional reaction to whatever stimulus you're being exposed to. So it's an involuntary reaction that you have no control over. You have no conscious control over that emotional reaction. The subjective layer is after seconds, 2 or 3 seconds, once that emotional trigger has been subjectively processed, I. E. You've laid on a story. Your brains come up with some kind of reason, which is probably not true.

Nicole [00:45:05]:

You know? A story as to why you had that emotional reaction, Which becomes a feeling, and that feeling is subjective because the feeling is the conscious or or subconscious meaning making of that emotional state. And if you stay in that feeling, it becomes a mood after an hour or so. And if you stay in that mood, it becomes a state of being. But the emotion itself is very objective, Objective enough to measure. But, again, it was a series of, like, very intense trial and error. And I had, I explored pretty much every biosync, biosensor that existed on the market, because I was like, you know, I I believe it it's more genuine and true to the source for this data to be pulled from your physiology, your bottle, your body, then to try to come up with a model of prediction that didn't seem right, which a lot of companies have tried to, To crack this in that way. So, like, let's analyse your, you know, your user behaviour on your phone and try to predict how you're feeling. This is this is how Facebook markets to you.

Nicole [00:46:18]:

Right. It uses sophisticated algorithms based on the content you're watching, you know, the words you're using to determine and predict what you might be feeling. I didn't I didn't like that direction. I wanted I wanted it based on your physiology, Your data that's actually your body and to to try to create a mirror of what what's actually going on for you in real time. I really wanted heart rate variability to work because heart rate variability is, measured through a sensor called PPG, And PPG is available in most consumer wearables. So Fitbit, I'm wearing 2 Now and Now watch a Biostrap, Doing some testing on both devices, and and and and an Oura ring. The the camera on your on your smartphone is a HIV sensor. So HIV sensors are everywhere.

Nicole [00:47:12]:

And I was like, man, it would be so great if we could pull.

Freya Graf [00:47:15]:

It was convenient.

Nicole [00:47:16]:

Yeah. Yeah. And, and I had Like a consensus note from all the scientists and development people. They were like, you can't heart variability has too, there's too many variables to, to heart rate variability. You're never going to be able to get an accurate clinical reading. And so I shelved it for a whole year, and I explored electro electrodermic sensors. I explored eye tracking. I explored, Micro, expressions through the camera.

Nicole [00:47:47]:

I explored so many different ways. Kinesiology tool using the gyroscope on the phone, so motion sensor to determine the level of flow in your body based on your movement. So I went I went down many, many, many rabbit holes.

Freya Graf [00:48:02]:

Right? So

Nicole [00:48:05]:

fascinating. And then Oh. Yeah. Then after a year, I was like it just came to me. I was like, how is emotion measured clinically now? You know, what what what is the kind of gold standard? And it's it uses EEG. So it uses headsets, basically, like clinical grade headset. And the headset's a sensing your valence and your arousal. So your valence is your level of stress matched with your level of motivation.

Nicole [00:48:35]:

So your level of motivation will either be positively or negatively geared. So you're moving towards something psychologically, or you're moving away from something that that Is a signal that's happening in the brain and the body that can be tracked and arousals your level of stress. So Yeah. You put these 2 things together. If you're positively geared towards something, so you have high valence and then you're high stress, you're, like, excited. I'm really positive and I'm full of energy. Right? Or if you have like a low valence and lower arousal, you're negatively geared, and your low stress, you're like sad, depressed. Right.

Nicole [00:49:16]:

And everything in between. And so I knew that heart rate variability was actually very good at measuring arousal because it's used as a fitness tracker. Right. So that that's how fitness is determined is how quickly is your heart rate accelerating and then coming back down. So So your cardiovascular health, it's it's, your your heart's response to being stress And then being able to recover stress and then recover. And so I was like, it's halfway there. You know, it measures arousal well. How do we get the valence? How do we how do we get the Nuance data through the the HIV sensor of valence? Because if I can crack that, Then we can detect emotions through HIV.

Nicole [00:49:59]:

And then it just came to me because I was kind of getting closer to solving this problem. I was like, what if we do an experiment where we use a standardized emotional imagery deck, like the one they always use in research. It's called Oasis. Expose a subject that's hooked up to an EEG, so we're getting the baseline of valence and arousal and HIV At the same time, then do an analysis of how, how far apart those 2 data points are at being able to measure arousal and valence. And then use the EEG data plus machine learning to train the HRV how how to get a more accurate reading of Valence. Could that work? And that, that was the $1,000,000,000 idea That that that created the breakthrough in in really being able to create something that now Is, less than 1 deviation, one standard deviation out of clinical grade data through a PPG sensor.

Freya Graf [00:51:04]:

Just on your phone.

Nicole [00:51:05]:

You can do it on your phone. You can do it on this is a Biostrap. This is a NOW watch. So these are just standard commercial wearables, through through the in truth model, we'll be able to to give you almost a clinical grade reading of of your emotional state.

Freya Graf [00:51:20]:

Excuse the interruption, my loves, but I'm shamelessly seeking reviews and 5 star ratings for the potty because, as I'm sure you've noticed by now, It's pretty fab. And the more people who get to hear it, the more people it can help. Reviews and ratings help me carry favor with the algorithmic gods and get suggested to tell other listeners to check out. Plus, they make me feel really good and appreciated as I continue to pour my heart and soul into creating this baby for you. And I promise I don't maz over them or anything. I mostly just tuck them away for a rainy day when I'm filled with self doubt and existential dread about being self employed, which is Fairly frequently. So you see, leaving a review really does make a difference, and it's an easy, little act of support that you can take in just a minute or 2 by either going to Spotify and leaving 5 stars for the show or writing a written review and leaving 5 stars over on Apple Podcasts. Choose your poison.

Freya Graf [00:52:15]:

Or if you're a real overachiever, you could do both. Woah now. If you are writing a review, though, just be sure to only use g rated words because despite the fact that this is a podcast about sexuality, words like sex can be censored, and your review won't actually show up. Lame. Anyway oh, oh, what was that? Are you gonna go do it right now while I wait? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. No.

Freya Graf [00:52:40]:

That's a great idea. May as well just quickly click that 5 star button before we get on with it and, you know, like, forget about it and get on with your day. Oh, I'm hearing them roll in. I'm hearing those 5 stars. Oh my god. I make myself cringe. Anyway, Thank you much, Lee. You're a total gem, and I'll let you get back to the episode now.

Freya Graf [00:53:02]:

Woah. And then so is the idea that by Bringing more awareness and understanding of your own emotional state regularly, you'll become more Able to influence it because you're just focusing on it more and you're kinda, like, tracking it? Or how does it actually shift our mental health and get us feeling Better and, you know, moving towards that frequency of living from a place of

Nicole [00:53:26]:

love. Great question. So the first thing I'll say is awareness is an incredibly powerful intervention that is consistently dismissed as an intervention. And I'll give you an example of this. If you've never tracked your heart rate variability, just your standard HIV and you wear an Apple Watch or you wear some kind of HIV device. This is just a challenge to your listeners. Go and check what your average And that's it. So your average HIV right now, whatever the the app it is, if it's your or Apple, your Apple Health, it'll tell you what your HIV average is.

Nicole [00:54:02]:

If it's 20, if it's 30, if it's 50, 70, a100. If you have a pretty low HIV, like if you have, like, already have a HIV of a 100, you probably don't want it to go, You know, too much higher, but say you have a relatively low heart rate variability. It's better to have a high one, like around Between 80 and a 110 for someone young and fit and healthy is good, like kind of elite level. So if you have less than that, I challenge you to just learn what your HIV is, and hold it in your awareness, and monitor yourself over a week. And I would Almost put money on the fact that your HIV will increase just through Wow. Just through your awareness. Right? Not doing any other physical Intervention. So awareness is a very powerful intervention, which is always dismissed in medicine, and I want to prove and showcase that simply through awareness so much can be transformed.

Nicole [00:55:01]:

So there's, there's 1 layer, like, yes, the awareness I believe is going to create huge fundamental You know, shifts. And that's why we go to therapy because we're sitting with someone wanting to have that, that moment of like, that's The thing I've been feeling it's, it's, it's shame. It's anxiety. It's depression. It's when, when I Do music. I feel joy, you know, and now I should do that more. You know? It's those kind of breakthroughs that I think can be so, so life changing. The 2nd layer of it is the tech is also categorising it against the tasks that you're doing day to day.

Nicole [00:55:38]:

So simply by, Say integrating it with your Google Calendar, it's then giving you the emotional spectrum and the emotional grade of everything that you do. So, again, that's incredibly granular insight into, wow, every time I meet with my boss, because it's not just, Here's your day. Like, the AI can also say that every time you eat this for lunch, this is what happens. Every time you meet with your boss, you go through the same emotional pattern. Every time you, you know, sleep in past 9 AM, this is what it's doing to your emotional state. So it's starting to look at the correlations, And it will start to show you the complex emotional patterns that make up your life. And that's very difficult even for an avid meditator, Even for someone that's, you know, paying 1,000 of dollars to a therapist every month, it's very, very hard to get that level of insight. And this is where artificial intelligence and technology and data can become incredibly powerful.

Nicole [00:56:36]:

After a month of tracking, it's going to be able to show you The Fibonacci sequence of you, and and exactly what's influencing it. And I think, you know, historically, it's taken meditators decades to get to that level Of understanding and insight. And, you know, to me that the outcome for our users is going to be The level of, consciousness that can then go into the decisions they make in their day. And that, you know, there's a lot of other things that can be developed on top of that. So once we have enough data from from you as a user, we can also start correlate things like, when when your emotional fluctuation, which is one of our algorithms, is calculating your level of emotional flux As an

Freya Graf [00:57:29]:

example.

Nicole [00:57:29]:

Wow. When your emotional flux is in this percentile, your decision making capability is at 20%. So then, you know, imagine you have that insight, then it also knows what you're up to. So it can say, hey, Freya, your emotional flux is here. Your decision making capacity is at about 18% today. We see you have that meeting with the CEO in 2 hours. There's a high chance he's gonna ask you to sign a contract just letting you know this is an ideal time for you to be making Definitive decision. So either regulate or, you know, move the meaning.

Nicole [00:58:05]:

So it can start to prompt you to to to actually show up in your life in a way that is So a lot more conscious and and and aware.

Freya Graf [00:58:15]:

Oh my god. This sounds fucking epic. I'm so curious to start using it, and also, like, something that I really nerd out on is tracking my menstrual cycle and the way that my hormonal shifts To really influence my mood and my energy levels and, you know, my capacity for for navigating things, and I feel like That would be something I'd be paying attention to as well using using this app at the same time. Woah. I would just notice the time, and I realized I haven't even done either of the segments. I just got so carried away. Do you have time to share with us a story, about how your sex education, You know, either failed you or something you would have wanted to learn more about or a funny anecdote from, you know, when you were kinda going through puberty and learning about all of this sort of stuff. Because, yeah, I'd love to do this segment get pregnant and die, and then mine even slipped in a little TMI as well.

Freya Graf [00:59:12]:

We'll just cram both the segments in.

Nicole [00:59:16]:

Don't have sex because you will get pregnant and. Don't have sex in a position. Thought I thought I'd have sex standing up. Just don't do it. Promise? Wow. Okay. How's how my sex education failed me? Worried if

Freya Graf [00:59:37]:

it was amazing. We'd love to hear that, but that's very rarely the case.

Nicole [00:59:40]:

So Yeah. It definitely was not. I mean, you know, half British education for starters. Yeah. I mean, it was just such a none event. Like, I kind of remember doing, I don't know, some putting some condoms on on a banana. I think Most of your guests probably would share similar similar memories. I think by the time I was doing such a sex education In grade 6, maybe.

Nicole [01:00:11]:

Maybe 7. Probably 7. I was going to at that time, I was going to an all girls school. So I think I mean, that in itself, it's just like I feel like Then I remember when the girls in my school were, like, exposed to boys, it was just such a, Like, big deal. You know, and I think you do, it was just so like not normalized. And then I'm obviously like into girls. So, you know, I don't, I didn't feel like I was ever kind of Ported to understand those feelings. I think it was like very kind of pigeonholed.

Nicole [01:00:55]:

I mean, I was like trying to date boys at the time, but looking back, like I definitely had on my friends, and I just didn't know how to, like, I did. I didn't know how to understand that. Yeah. I mean, it was It was it was hard. I I think by the time maybe this is like the the the TMI Stories. By 20 I think I was about 23, maybe 24. Was it was when Australia was doing the, the, the prototype, the, the vote for, for whether or not gay, gay marriage should be legalized. And I got into a fight with my then girlfriend at the time because she was like, you should be using your platform to, to talk about this.

Nicole [01:01:47]:

And I was like, I don't care. You know, I don't, I don't care if we're allowed to get married. Like Just doesn't matter to me. You know? Fuck the government. I don't wanna be a part of this conversation. I don't I don't wanna be defined by my Sexuality as well. Like I had this whole thing where I was like, I don't want to be known for that. I want to be known for, you know, and I don't want that to define me.

Freya Graf [01:02:10]:

Yeah. Yeah.

Nicole [01:02:11]:

And then so I was I was very kind of, like, bullish about that position at that time. And I was on a trip in Mexico, and we're swimming in these, these these caves, these sunotas. And this boy who is clearly gay, who sounded Australian, who's with his mates, he was also, there in that in that same swimming spot. And I was talking to the scrums, and then he he checked his phone, and he just Started to break down and cry. And he was just so emotional as overcome. And it was something in me just intuitively. I knew that he had read that we won the boat. And in that moment, I just it was, like, 23 or 24 years of shame I didn't know I

Freya Graf [01:03:08]:

had. Wow.

Nicole [01:03:11]:

Just completely, like, washed over me, and it was I just felt so Emotional of the fact that I had internalized my own homophobia so deeply. Yeah. That even though I had a position to influence and help other, you know, Young people that maybe followed me. I was doing a lot of work in high schools at the time to to say to them, hey. Like, I'm gay and I'm still successful, and it doesn't have to I knew and I love you and, and you're, you're amazing just as you are, you know, and I never used my platform for that. And it was because I was homophobic. I hadn't accepted myself. But the way I rationalised it was I just don't care, because I didn't wanna be vulnerable.

Nicole [01:04:03]:

I didn't wanna feel those feelings of of shame. And it wasn't until I saw that that boy's emotion and I had my kind of Human right returned to me. Was I like, oh my god. Wow. I actually I just never wanted to feel the shame that I actually did feel through through all of that. And to be in so much resistance So being known for that Mhmm. Mhmm. Was all was all shame.

Nicole [01:04:32]:

You know? Whereas now, as I've kind of worked through that and I'm matured, If I have an opportunity, like if I can be an emblem for someone like, and I'm not another girl that has a crush and a best friend in high school and is thinking, you know, this might be the, This might be the reason I, you know, I'm not gonna be popular or this might be the reason that, you know, my friends are gonna reject me or whatever it is. I think I think the world's changed a lot since then, but, you know, of course, Of course I should use my experience, you know, the, the wholeness of who I am to, to, to be that representation in the world. Yeah. I mean, I learned a lot from that experience. I learned that sometimes, you know, we, we can be something And when societies had, you know, opinions about that, we internalise. And I think it also happens with, with women, like, I see it sometimes with women I'm associated with professionally. They, on the outside, they stand for women's empowerment, But they've internalized the misogyny they've experienced, and they actually end up treating women like

Freya Graf [01:05:41]:

shit.

Nicole [01:05:41]:

Yeah. Yep. You know? And And I think it it can play out in these really weird ways that are often not obvious. Yeah. And I guess my message in that is Actually, it goes back to the beginning of this podcast. Like we've got to get right with ourselves. Do you Love and accept. Like, I couldn't say I'm gay until I was, like, 27.

Nicole [01:06:05]:

Oh, wow. Even though, like, even though I was, like I'd always had girlfriends. Yeah. I'd always you know? Yeah. I'd lived my life like that. Like, I never I wasn't closeted in that way, but just Identifying with it was so hard. Yeah. Wow.

Freya Graf [01:06:23]:

Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing. I loved that story. Massive. Yeah. So, Yeah. I think love love that we just smashed together both the segments. Nicely done.

Freya Graf [01:06:40]:

Before we wrap up, just wanna, like, Yeah. Kind of learn a little bit more about, when this, In truth App is going to be available. Maybe it's already available. Like, what's the latest? I know I think I just saw before we jumped on this call That you've got a really massive study going on, like, maybe if you have time to just talk us through that. But, yeah, pretty much just where it's at now, You know, when it's gonna be ready, how people can use it, and and sort of stay in touch with you and your work and and, get involved when things are becoming available.

Nicole [01:07:16]:

Of course. Yeah. Thanks for the opportunity. So we're opening our beta. So we're gonna choose 1st a 100 people. Mhmm. So, you know, I think get get in quick if it's appealing to you.

Freya Graf [01:07:30]:

Mhmm.

Nicole [01:07:31]:

And we're gonna we're gonna run it as a closed, coaching program. It'll be free except for you have to buy the hardware, of course, to enable it. And we're doing that so that we can get really intimate feedback from the first 100 users of, you know, what they like about it, how they wanna use it, what their feedback is. So we open that. Well, it will begin mid November. Applications will open at, the beginning of November. So it'll be 2 weeks of enrollment. So that's, you know, soon.

Nicole [01:08:01]:

That's just over a month away. Yeah. Then we'll take them through that 1 month process. And then as a team, we'll spend probably 4 to 8 sprints or sprints 1 week. So, you know, 1 1 to 2 months basically, developing out all of the feedback. So it changes to features, etcetera, and then, It'll be available for public, at the beginning of February next year.

Freya Graf [01:08:27]:

Wow. Okay. Amazing. That's so and how exciting.

Nicole [01:08:32]:

Yeah. It's it's all coming together. It's been a massive it's been the journey of a lifetime for sure. But it's, It's very I was I was walking to gym this morning just thinking, like, I cannot believe, there's gonna be technology that exists in the world that can We can track emotional state. Like it's just such a, yeah, it's, it's, it's such a trip. Yeah. I know in in in in in the best way, in a, in a, in the best possible way. So, yeah, I would love your, your audience and, and you to, to be a part of that.

Nicole [01:09:04]:

If it's, if it's interesting, you can go to interest In truth. Io. Just check the, check the website. I think there's, there's an option now to, to sign up, for the beta. So you can just put yourself on a, On a wait list, and and we'll get in touch in a month or so.

Freya Graf [01:09:22]:

Amazing. Yep. And just to, like, paint us a little Little picture of, like, this vision because I wanna I wanna just go back to, yeah, the fact that you've kind of figured out that critical mass Is 350,000,000 people, and once you hit that amount of people, that is the tipping point where, like, the love will just roll out to the rest of the planet. Like, How do you think that that will look in the world? Like, what will change? Obviously, that's a gigantic question, and there's all the obvious things that we think of about how that will impact The world and everyone's health and mental health positively, but, like, are there things that, you know, maybe aren't so obvious that that you know through all of your research and your understanding are gonna change in ways that people don't expect?

Nicole [01:10:09]:

This is such a good question. And I gotta say, like, this is something I fantasize about all the time because like, like any monumental shifts. Like you, you can't really predict, like you can imagine, you know, you can sound a sponge. Interestingly in 2020, I wrote a, a story, which was me fantasizing about that moment. Cool. And, the story essentially went, it was, an alien species, on a, a planet that was, co inhabited by humanity at some point, Teaching in a a classroom. The story of how Earth woke up. To to to that student.

Nicole [01:11:04]:

And, you know, the teacher was kind of intimately explaining, this monumental moment in the universe. Yeah. The way that they chose to depict it in the story was, All of the earthlings kind of thought that it would be this very obvious, loud kind of, oh my God, we made it. There's all this Change and, you know, all of this truth that's violently revealed and, you know, kind of the the dramatic, version of the story. But actually, in the moment the critical mass point was met, it was a softening. Time slowed down. Wow. Humans, turned to each other and realized that they weren't, you know, enemies anymore.

Nicole [01:11:48]:

And, you know, they embraced and they, they came back to makes me emotional and thinking about it to, yeah. To, to home. Yeah. And it was almost anticlimactic, you know, it was a piece. Sounds so nice. You just, You just don't know. But I mean, in, in my fantasy, it goes something like that.

Freya Graf [01:12:17]:

Yeah. That's so beautiful.

Nicole [01:12:20]:

The war has been won, you know, but that all of the drama actually ends Yeah. We come back to what what's real and what's now.

Freya Graf [01:12:30]:

Totally. I mean, that makes more sense to me that it's not this big climactic, Explosive, obvious thing. It's more like, well, all of of a lot of the problems that I see, you know, that we are too Yang and busy and productive and capital is all of it. It's just like, actually, if we were more in touch with our hearts, Then it would be a softening and a and a becoming slower and more gentle and more in touch, and so it wouldn't be this big bang. It would totally be like a mellowing out and a slowing down, Because that's how we're designed to be. That's that is when we are at our most healthy and in touch with ourselves, and our mental health is The best is, like, not when we're, like, racing around being, you know, super productive and crazy. It's it's, you know, it is the ability to, like, Surrender and to slow down and to just take a beat, and it's just really it's really incredible that There are people like you who are able to hold that vision for those of us that that don't, Haverhill aren't able to, like, really hang on to it, you know, in the face of all of the the kind of existential dread and the Fearmongering and the doom and gloom, and it's fucking scary out there. And, like, I know me personally and so many friends, like, the conversations we've been having are, like, Grim, and and we're scared.

Freya Graf [01:13:50]:

And we're feeling that. We're feeling the pressure. We're feeling this, like, stuff is changing, but we're unsure whether it's gonna tip in this way or that way, and it's fucking terrifying because there's a good chance it could tip that way. But, like, you know, when I talk to people like you or hear people like you Speak and and hear what you're up to. I'm just like, oh, wow. Okay. No. No.

Freya Graf [01:14:09]:

It's fine. We're good. There is actually

Nicole [01:14:11]:

Oh, yeah. Like, you know, there's

Freya Graf [01:14:14]:

There's it's just this stuff that, like, I, me, and probably a lot of people just don't even dare to hope or to dream about Being possible. But you you know, you're a visionary, and and you're making you're making massive moves, and it's it's very, Yeah. It's very heartening and reassuring to people like me that are just, like, still kinda stuck on, like, a bit lower lower frequency.

Nicole [01:14:40]:

No. I think it's it's, you know, we're we're gonna end up realizing that all of us played a role in the, that moment. You know, it's that there really, there really is Affection to it all. It really is. Because the unified intelligence is always unified, Even if we're experiencing it separately, and I think there's only 1 thing happening, Truly. And, and, and, and, and, and there's only 1 of us and it's that, that's the cosmic joke. However we choose to, However, we choose to look at it. That is the truth.

Nicole [01:15:25]:

And I think that that that's that's important to remember. You know?

Freya Graf [01:15:29]:

Right on. Absolutely. Oh, thanks so much, Nick. This has been just such an interesting

Nicole [01:15:38]:

chat, and,

Freya Graf [01:15:40]:

yeah, just epic. I'll put links to all of your info and to in truth Tech all of it in the show notes, and, yeah, I'm pretty excited to get on that get on that beta list. If not, Just, yeah, get into it in February when it comes out. It's very in line with, like, my focus right now. I'm fucking rocking all the, you know, the neurofeedback the TMS and the, like, wearables and stuff. So, yeah, lay it on me.

Nicole [01:16:10]:

Amazing. I can't wait. Yeah. I'll wait to get the feedback from you from you and and your audience.

Freya Graf [01:16:15]:

Beautiful. Is there anything you wanna share or leave us with before we say goodbye?

Nicole [01:16:22]:

God bless. Keep keep love keep loving all that loud.

Freya Graf [01:16:26]:

Yeah. Beautiful. Alright. Bye, everyone. And that's it, darling hearts. Thank you for stopping by the labia lounge. Your bum groove in

Nicole [01:16:35]:

the couch will be right

Freya Graf [01:16:36]:

where left it just waiting for you to sink back in for some more double l action next time. And in the meantime, if you'd be a dear and subscribe, Subscribe, share this episode, or leave a review on Itunes, then you can pat yourself on the snatch because that, my dear, is a downright act of sex positive feminist Activism. And you'd be supporting my vision to educate, empower, demystify, and destigmatize with this here podcast. Also, I'm always open to feedback, topic ideas that you'd love to hear covered, or guest suggestions. So feel free to get in touch via my website atfrerograph.com or say hi over on Insta. My handle is freya_graf_ymt, and I Seriously, hope you're following me on there because damn, we have fun. We have fun. Anyway, later labial legends.

Freya Graf [01:17:29]:

I'll see you next time. Hey. Me again. If you'd like to support the potty and you've already given it 5 stars on whatever platform you're listening on, I wanna mention that you Can buy some really dope merch from the website and get yourself a labia lounge tote, tee, togs. Yep. You heard that right. I even have labia lounge bathers. Or a cute fanny pack if that'd blow your hair back.

Freya Graf [01:18:05]:

So, if fashion isn't your passion though, you can donate to my Buy Me A Coffee donation page, which is actually called buy me a soy chai latte because I'll be the 1st to admit, I'm a bit of a Melbourne cafe tosser like that. And, yes, That is my coffee order. You can do a one stop donation or an ongoing membership and sponsor me for as little as 3 fat ones a month. And I also have a Sunroom profile over on the Sunroom app as I've mentioned, and I also offer 1 on 1 coaching and online courses That'll help you level up your sex life and relationship with yourself and others in a really big way. So every bit helps because it ain't cheap to put out a sweet podcast, into the world every week out of my own pocket. So I will be undyingly grateful if you support me and my biz financially in any of these ways. And if you like, I'll even give you a mental BJ with my mind from the lounge itself. Salty.

Freya Graf [01:19:01]:

And, I'll pop the links in the show notes. Thank you.