Erotic Massage Medicine for Women
Freya Graf:
This program is brought to you by Pussy Magnets.
Freya Graf:
Welcome welcome, my lovely lumps, or should I say lovely labs? I'm so thrilled to have you here in the Labia Lounge to yarn about All things sexuality, womanhood, holistic health, and everything in between, your legs. Can never help myself. Anyway, we're gonna have vagloads of real chats with real people about real shit. So buckle up. You're about to receive the sex ed that you'd never had, and have a bloody good laugh while you're at it. Before we get stuck in, I'd like to respectfully acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which I'm recording this, the Penang people. It's an absolute privilege to be living and creating dope podcast content on Noongar country, and I pay respect to their elders past, present, and emerging. Now, if you're all ready, let's flap and do this.
Freya Graf:
Oh, god. Is there such thing as too many vagina jokes in the one intro? Whatever. I'm leaving it in. It's my podcast. Hey, Hey, labial lovers. Thanks for joining me for another hang on the lounge today. I have got an old friend here perched Touched on a clit cushion who actually got in touch with me and suggested that they might be a prime candidate for the potty because of their recent explorations into a new line of work Involving erotic and sensual massage for the queer community and how she's trying to normalize sex work as a service for women and not just something that's really common for men to patron. So I've got Han Marco here with me today.
Freya Graf:
Han is like a delicious pizza, a solid base with Any lush toppings. You can have her at any hour, and she will still leave you satisfied. No satiated. Sorry. I'm fucking up your bio. You're perfectly crafted by a queer creatrix who is a self proclaimed hype girl. An entrepreneur, breath Birth worker, photographer, and rapper. She really is living her best life, but we aren't here to talk about those avenues.
Freya Graf:
We're here to talk about Quinn Cush who also accepts Quinn Crush, the alias for her oiliest offering yet. The ultimate experience of a queer erotic massage. Being a curious legend herself, Han was searching for a hot babe to give her a connected, safe, sensual rub down and couldn't find the right person. So So just like that, she has created it and here to chat about her special, unique, erotic medicine that she is now offering to Queer women. Did I get that right? Would you say that's kind of yeah.
Han Marko:
It never stops sounding as good as what it sounds.
Freya Graf:
Well, welcome, hon. Thanks for joining me.
Han Marko:
Thank you. Yeah. No. I'm I just, If this was my full time job to talk about this and be in this, then, like, let's go. I'll take the 9 to 5 if it's this job.
Freya Graf:
I know. Right? I wish I got paid for this shit. It would just be such a dream to do podcasting full time. Okay. Cool. So let's chat a little about a little bit about how you got into this work because, I mean, yeah, I haven't sort of up up until recently, I hadn't seen you for a few years, and we've known each other for, like, oh, I don't know, 8 years or something. And, yeah, last time I checked, you were doing central erotic massage. So I'd love to hear, like, what kinda got you into it and then What a session with you looks like.
Freya Graf:
You know? Like, what's involved in a sesh with you?
Han Marko:
Awesome. Thank you. So basically, through the curiosity of going on my own journey to heal a lot of my inner Kill and woundings. I ended up working with men a lot just at retreats, generally doing kind of like emotional processes and things like that. And I ended up just seeing men so deeply and seeing them in their emotional process and seeing them Desire to do the work on themselves, and it sort of just totally flipped my radar, around my, I suppose stereotypical lesbian man hating energy that I did have in certain ways. Although I had lots of male friends, It was like seeping out sideways. Mhmm. And men would say that to me.
Han Marko:
They would be like you know, they'd come over, and they'd be like, Hey, Hannah. It's me. And I'd be like, hey, Josh. They'd be like, it's James. I'd be like, sorry, John. You know, like, really subconsciously not Taking on, you know, not kind of connecting with men as deeply is what Yeah. I desired to be doing. So My classic Pisces extremist nature meant that all of a sudden, I went from not, being intimate or having men on my radar at all or being sexual with them at all for 8 years or so, all of a sudden to I want to go into sex work.
Han Marko:
And that was just, you know, super wild for me. I had dipped my toes in it a little bit before doing, erotic photography, which I was really enjoying kind of rocking up as the fantasy photographer and taking photos of people and then sort of Joining in in certain ways, but I would only be joining in sort of with the with with the woman. And Anytime I had thought about going into this type of industry before, I'd always thought to myself, I could do this, but I just wanna do it with women. I just wanna do it with women. And I did go in and do it with men. And that was actually just so healing for me because I got to see what happens when Men kind of are so armored up and have this big sort of persona of like, I have to be a man. And then they walk into this space, and all of a sudden, all their layers come off. And they they're they're soft, and they're surrendered, and they're They're in their they're in their nurturing.
Han Marko:
They're in their, their softness. And for me, Witnessing that, being a part of that felt like I was doing God's work. So, So did that for a while and then
Freya Graf:
yeah. Just kept like, erotic massage for men, tantric massage? Like, what did that look like? When you say sex work, obviously, that's broad and can mean a number of things.
Han Marko:
Yeah. I mean, I definitely was just having to stick my toes in it. In terms of the erotic massage was kind of the 1st avenue for me because I just I love touch. I love giving Touch as much as I love receiving it. So for me, it kinda just felt like, alright, I'm just I'm giving this massage. And, Yes. There's a sexual element to it, but people don't see the deep healing that is involved. They just see this one part that is kind of, you know, Touching a cock at the end and and what's that? And oh my god, that's so, out there, but 95% of it, outside of that is connecting, communicating, holding space for men who don't feel seen in their relationship and Feel this in impending, continuous kind of, model that they need to be in, and and being in this space with me, especially being more of an alternative alternative person, which I didn't know if that would work in the space or not.
Han Marko:
You know, I'd always thought to myself, well, I don't look like what a worker would look like, so how can it be? But Me just being my authentic self, has just is more than this depiction of what this Societal kind of, you know, sex worker or really feminine looking person kind of is. It's just been me repping my authenticity, and that's just bought me so many clients because people are actually desiring that. You know? They want that authenticity. They want that intimacy. So, so yes. Doing that, I just got to point where I was using so much energy because I'm giving such a strong, heartfelt, loving massage also Where I'm putting in so much energy every time, because for me, it has to be so connected and it has to be A spiritual experience that can't just be like, ram, bam, thank you, ma'am. Like, that's just not how I roll. And I think that's also sort of the beauty of going into this industry In my thirties.
Han Marko:
You know? It it just means I have to do it in a certain way of integrity. Otherwise, it's just not gonna work. So So I found that being in the parlor and moving my body so much, working so much, and being kind of this real dominant energy and holding all Space for men. In the same breath, I was just like, where is the fucking hot, strong, dominant lesbian that's just gonna do exactly this To me, once a week. Like, I will throw down 500 fucking dollars. I will throw it down For you to just for you for me to just be able to flip and be in that space of being held. And I started to just be curious about it and and look for that experience, and, I just couldn't find What I was looking for. I couldn't find it.
Han Marko:
And, and so I just decided to create it. I just decided, alright, Let's go. Because I just thought to myself, if I'm looking for this, then other people are looking for this. And, sure enough, people have been looking for it.
Freya Graf:
And And I imagine, like, not just not just lesbians and queer folk, like, people that are just a little bit curious. So, I mean, so many women are so fluid and maybe just haven't had any organic opportunities present themselves. But, like, I feel like a lot of people, are seeking that when they contact me, and it's not it's not really what I offer. That's not It's it's not the same thing with yoni mapping. So now I've got you to direct them to because sometimes they are just craving, like, a bit of Exploration. They're curious. They wanna they want that hot lesbian experience, and to just melt and surrender and be held in that because it's also quite Safe and nurturing at the same time. So I feel like you've got a massive market, and there's not a lot of people offering it.
Han Marko:
Yeah. Totally. And I have already had really, curious women come and have the experience, especially also older women, kind of Women that are in their forties that have sort of already been in partnership maybe with men or been married or had partners and then had children and then sort of got into their forties And been like, wow. Okay. Let's go. And so because of that, they're sort of already willing to just be like, let's go. I see this. I want this.
Han Marko:
You know? I'm willing to look for for this into a with a practitioner. And so, yeah, I get such a range of people. I get a range of, you know, the thing with women also specifically as the clientele is That women are geared more naturally to be in sort of these roles of nurturing, these roles of service, these roles of giving. So I'm seeing a lot of women who are also other sex workers, who are social workers, who are psychologists, Who are mothers. All of these people who are in this huge roles of service, and they actually just really want A place where they can unapologetically receive.
Freya Graf:
Yeah.
Han Marko:
They can actually have the experience of Just fully having the permission to to receive and to surrender and for something to just be about them. So I'm saying that a lot in the experiences, which is really cool. People who also haven't been, in partnership or had lovers or intimacy in periods of time As well, which is also really beautiful because I know that place as well. And and and so that's really healing experiences. And then, of course, We've got kind of more of the fluid community, more of the trans community, more of the gender questioning, sexuality questioning kind of community, which, To be honest, I don't even know what, like, half of my community that are experiencing these things were doing before This service was available because, you know, we already as women understand the kind of body dysmorphia and, Body shame and not that that's a strictly female problem, but there's a lot more of it kinda going on. And, you know, As well as that, imagining how it feels to be also, you know, a trans person with this sort of body dysmorphia, confusion, Body changing hormones, you know, energy. And then imagine if they thinking about those types of people wanting to Connect with other people and desire intimacy and just think about what those conversations sort of have to be on on Tinder or on Hinge and How difficult it would be to create safety and how much more energy it it would create just to desire to Be witnessed or be held or be sexual. So for me, this is just it's the dream platform for People to be able to be witnessed in their body, in their new sexuality, in their new gender, and, and just being able to, Yes.
Han Marko:
See themselves in their new version, feel themselves in their new version of self, and just be able to reprogram and and recreate, safety in their body because, you know you know, as as much as I do, that that's just kind of all we Looking for in one of the the the the the pillars of not just existence, but sexuality.
Freya Graf:
So what does a session kind of look like? Because I've got a bit of an idea in my head of how this would roll, but, yeah, I'd love to Just get the walk through of of what's involved so people, you know, who might be curious know what to expect and can feel into whether that like something they're interested in doing.
Han Marko:
Awesome. So firstly, I always offer Kind of like a sus the vibe chat, which is that we get to sort of meet face to face for 20 minute not face to face. Online for 20 minutes, and kinda just feel each other's energy. Because for me, you know, I need to know this person's intention, feel this in person's intention, and, Just connect with the person that I'm gonna go into this kind of intimate experience with. So I offer that all the time because that's what I would desire. So that happens, and then we book in the session. We get kind of clear on What is the intention of that person specifically? So if their intention is fully just to receive, Then, you know, it can be kind of a little bit more of the one way touch. But, basically, that person would come, arrive, we would chat, We would hang out.
Han Marko:
We would figure out what that person's intention is, and there's different intentions for different people, obviously, depending on what they desire. So There is a default sort of package which, can then be cocollaborated between us because, You know, obviously, I'm not gonna do anything unless that person wants to do that thing, and we sort of we just discuss it together. We figure it out. It's sort of this co collaborated organism. So the person would come in, and then we would just discuss their intention. A lot of the time, it ends up being that that person naked and I am naked, and they kind of lay on the table. We do a bit of a meditation and open with kind of just really creating more safety. Again, this whole time, it's us getting to know each other and really putting in the the conversation around, Well, you know, what is your boundary? And you can you know, that can always be changing.
Han Marko:
We've kind of got the the green, orange, red Method in there too. Yep. This feels good. Oh, okay. This is starting to feel a little bit something. And then red kind of, you know, completely hands off. So so that's in there. And then I actually just love massaging.
Han Marko:
So the the massage starts, and it's it's The depths of it is is actually quite spiritual. There's a lot of tantric practice and tantric work in this. Although I don't kind of Openly express that as much just because I want people to feel my authenticity before I start using kind of this spiritual lingo because I also know that Unless that has really a really grounded feel to it. People are yeah. Just question people's Yep. Yeah. Question people's authenticity in it. So I would say there is a lot of, spirituality in this practice As well, a lot of erotic trance, a lot of really connecting with something deeper, which can really activate that kind of the godly essence of sex.
Han Marko:
So In saying that, this is not penetrative sex in any way. I actually don't do that. There is So it starts off just with the the massage, and I use kind of hot, sensual, sexy oil, and there's, a really nice playlist. It's not just kind of normal massage music of just like ding in the Tibetan mountains. It's much more me. It's much more bassy. It's, Yeah. It's really a part of creating that that portal.
Freya Graf:
Yeah. Fully immersive experience that's gonna be quite transportive and Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. Okay. So but you said you don't do anything internal? It's all external, so, like, vulva massage, Clitoral labial, but, like, no penetration?
Han Marko:
So yes. So there's genital play. There's clip play. There's in a labia play, but Not, yeah, not penetration. It's it's much more there's also a breast massage, chest massage, but it's very It's very explorative and curious and really attempting to just breathe through and move the the Pleasure and the eroticism all through the body and take away this kind of focus of the orgasm and Focusing on that and losing our attention in it and thinking obviously that that is just the thing that we need to focus on. So it's much more Seeking pleasure and moving pleasure all through the body all the time instead of this focus. And so That's also given to the client and is very helpful. Also, again, in the permission of okay.
Han Marko:
Cool. I just don't need to think about this. It's just gonna be there. And also with kind of Because I Am Naked as well, which is I think probably the biggest difference between, you know, what you would do And what kind of the sexological bodywork community sort of do is, you know, you're clothed and a practitioner. And in my regard, I am still doing very deep work, but, because I suppose I'm working in more of the grayer area of Finding myself as a sex worker, even though I feel like it is so much more than what that is, You know, there there can be two way touch there. And in saying that, I kind of still guide that person as well so there isn't sort of this, you know, worrying about the other person because this experience is truly a devotional worshiping act To that person, to the client, it's it's about me because I'm there, because I'm the guide and my body is there, and I'm kind of being the antenna to Tap into this, this godly experience and be able to be a witness and to be able to, yeah, just Just blend that experience with that person and create that safety, but it's about the person. So, So there is two way touch there. Sometimes there is more two way touch there depending on what the client desires as well.
Han Marko:
I've had a lot of trans women come and trans women really also just want to feel the lesbian experience, Not just experiencing it with me, but experiencing it as themselves. So there is a bit more two way touch in that experience. But otherwise, it the session can be whatever whatever it wants to be, and I just sort of invite That person to really speak up and use their voice in what they desire, again, as a space to Renavigate and reeducate ourselves on the fact that we can ask for what we want.
Freya Graf:
Totally. Yeah. And that kinda leads me into my next, like, line of inquiry. You call it Medicine. This work. And I I understand why this is, but I just love to explain to listeners in case that Seems like a stretch or they're a little bit like, but what's the difference between, you know, an erotic massage or a happy ending Or a medicinal immersive healing experience? Like, what what kind of takes it there? So do you wanna just, like, talk about, I guess, like, what sort of healing and nourishment women can get from this sort of service?
Han Marko:
Amazing. I would say that, firstly, we are still all navigating what safety means in relationship, what safety means in our body, How to re relates safely with people. And I guess because that is still something that we are only just learning to do. It is when we can create that, the experience of Otherworldliness and sexual dimensions that open when all of these things are put in practice and when we feel safe. We can surrender so much more, which means we're not trying to control and in our heads. It means we're in our bodies. You know? So this is medicine because it's a therapeutic modality in the sense that We are trying to assist ourselves to not be in our heads and to have pleasure from our bodies and to be connected with our bodies. And a lot of the time, it's unsafe for us to be in our bodies and to feel in our bodies because, you know, we're traumatized.
Han Marko:
Everyone's got their own kind of wounding that just Puts them up in their head. And then we have anxiety, and then we have depression, then we have rumination, and then we have controlling things. And, You know? It means that we can be less in that space of trust in our bodies, in our intuition because that's been taken away from us, Because our boundaries have been overstepped. So in this regard, the the medicine of it is that we're going into those layers deeper. It's not just this kind of, you know, rub and tug energy because we're going into so many layers deeper. You know, and especially with women or more highly sensitive people, the heart needs to be activated. The safety needs to be there for the pussy to get wet. Like, I just don't get wet otherwise.
Han Marko:
So so that's you know, the the power in it is Kind of all the things that we do before. And also in saying that, that we're seeing this as a journey because it is. It's a journey just like we take on psychedelics, just like we can have breath work journeys, just like people can have their, Vipassana meditation, Yoga practices that put them into transcendental states, this is 1. And and I've had many that also come under the erotic umbrella, like being drawn, like being a life model, like having my photo taken, essentially, tapping into your erotic energy When you can have it, like, a full body experience of tapping into it where the body is used as a vessel And it's safe for that to kind of, you know, take over the body and be everywhere. We can be in this transcendental state. We can have these These full, you know, these just these full experiential experiences that you can't explain In words, the ability for us to open up our not just our sexual dimension, but our our ability to heal ourselves Through these experiential experiences because we can tap into knowledge that's been hiding, in our bodies. And Many people have emotional processes during these experiences as well. Because if they haven't been touched for a year, And then all of a sudden, there's this person holding this space and engaging with them about what they want and creating the opportunity for safe practice and intimacy.
Han Marko:
And then all of a sudden, their chest is being rubbed and they're being held. And so much of the experience is about the nourishment. It's very soft core. It's very it's very nurturing in a in a motherly way. I like to call myself, like, the dumb mother when I'm in there Because it's this kind of this firm sort of touch, this this Carly energy of, like, I got you. Like, I will hold you. Don't worry. And also this kind of like, you are a soft central flower and you deserve it all, you know? And because that's actually what I'm feeling inside, the I'm the container and the conduit for that loving presence For people to refill what it feels like to feel held and worshiped and and seen and Just yeah.
Han Marko:
So it's it's it's very deep on lots of levels, and, And I feel super grateful that people trust me to be in this space because it's a big space to hold as well.
Freya Graf:
Hey, babe town. So sorry to interrupt, but I simply had to pop my head into the lounge here and mention another virtual lounge that you've gotta get around. It's the Labia Lounge Facebook group that I've created for listeners of the potty to mingle in. And there you'll find Extra bits and bobs like freebies or discounts for offerings from guests who've been interviewed on the podcast, inspiring and thought provoking conversations, and support From a community of labial legends. So head over to the links in the show notes, and I'll hopefully see you in there. And now back to the episode.
Han Marko:
So yeah. I hope that kind of answers the question.
Freya Graf:
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, all of this It's very relatable and resonates with me. Obviously, I don't do sensual or erotic massage, but I I used to do I used to do more of that sort of tantric massage, for men, and I would also do sacred spot. So that's like anal de armoring and prostate massage, which is very, very vulnerable for men. And, you know, even in my sessions now, I'm not working with sexual energy, but I still it really does require of the practitioner to be striking that really beautiful balance of, like, Fierce, nurturing mother containing and holding space and, like, you know, just really, like, I've got you, But then also the nurturing and the soft and the feminine and the loving and the gentle and the slow and, You know, the kind of the a a really beautiful balance of the the yin and yang because that's what that's what my clients are needing. And, you know, I think Everyone needs that, but, yeah, definitely, I feel like it's more rare for a woman to be able to receive that unique balance of energy in this way and something that I would add to, like, why I feel like this work is very transformational, very healing. You know, is it we we never really get touched in these ways when there's just zero of us.
Freya Graf:
We don't have to give anything back, that we're not like you know, we're not being treated like a sexual object, for the gratification of a partner. You know, you you really are as a practitioner in service, and it's all for the benefit, and the healing and the enjoyment of The client. And so for the 1st time for some of these women, first time ever, they're able to just relax and surrender and enjoy being touched In a way where, you know, it's deeply respectful and consensual, but also, like, delicious and exciting and, you know, and all of these things And safe because because, you know, it's a held space. There's nothing being expected or demanded of them in return. You know? They don't have to be in their heads thinking, like, Oh, what like, what's actually going on? Is this crossing a boundary? Do I need to give something back? Like, generally, in in even just a really beautiful, safe Sexual scenario, there's a there's a back and forth, and there's still a little bit of, like, you know, potentially being in our heads and processing what's happening and then what Needs to happen next or what we're planning on doing next or how is this feeling? How are they how are they feeling about what I'm doing? And there's just more going on, So it's really cool to just, like, be in, you know, this deeply receptive surrendered space and know that you're held, know that every expression that comes out is okay. Hey. And I think that that in itself can be so nourishing and healing for people. And then, you know, to kind of expand on that, Something, my clients get is, you know, practice at sort of saying no or knowing their boundaries or knowing that it is okay to, like, Press pause or stop or change tact or it's it's just something that a lot of people don't do in their day to day lives or in their sex lives is is kind of practicing with their no or their boundaries or, you know, really exploring consent.
Freya Graf:
And I think that that's also something really cool that, you know, I'm I'm assuming you kinda provide for people as well, which might be new for them.
Han Marko:
Yeah. And, you know, every time I talk about being in this space, I talk about how when you go into, you know, the sexual arts either, firstly, as a practitioner, but also as a person on the other end, You're in, like, sex university, you know, being being being a worker myself, and especially going through all the work with the men, which, you know, wasn't I I probably did it for about 6 months. But, you know, you learn all your boundaries there. You go through all your own sexual shame There, you know, what? Am I am I really doing this? Like, you know, you really have to kind of you really have to Step up into the work if you wanna look after yourself. And, yeah, I feel really I feel really grateful that I came into it Sort of in my thirties as well because it sort of meant that I haven't really you know, there haven't been as many boundaries that I that I think have been crossed within me as Post to other people. But also just that this kind of loops into so much of what your, you know, underlying values of the podcast and the work you do, which is sort of reprogramming and reeducating people around sex because we just have no idea. And, I kind of wanted to just open another thing that I've sort of been doing since doing the erotic massage, sort of in a more personal Aspect.
Freya Graf:
We're definitely gonna get to that. We're definitely gonna get to that. Cool. Don't worry. I'll ask all about it. You're jumping the gun. I've got all these questions, Hannah, and you're just, like, racing ahead of me. Alright.
Freya Graf:
And I just wanna do I wanna make sure we get time to do my segment. So, let's do get pregnant and die right now, before we change topics. That seems like a nice little way to, you know, pivot and segue. Do you have a story about your sex education that you'd like to share with us For this segment.
Freya Graf:
Don't have sex because you will get pregnant and. Don't have sex in
Freya Graf:
the position.
Freya Graf:
Don't have sex Standing up. Just don't do it. Promise?
Han Marko:
Wow. So I mean, what sex education? It's, it definitely wasn't there. But, Yeah. I suppose the most challenging thing for me with regards to sex education was that I feel like there was just never an understanding about choice. I remember being in a scenario where, you know, 14 and everyone's kind of asking, like, have you done it? Have you done it? Just about, You know, fingering and head jobs and all these things. And did you do it? Did you do it? And and, I was like, oh, no. Like, I haven't done it. I guess I'll do it.
Han Marko:
Like, Just no thought to it at all. Wow. No thought to even the person, kind of just had an experience, Gave this guy kind of, you know, you know, like a blow job. It was just very When
Freya Graf:
you're 14? Yeah. I haven't even kissed anyone when I was 14. I was so scared of all that stuff.
Han Marko:
I mean, I just I felt pressure. I felt like it was, like what I it was it was, like, trendy. I felt like it was just what I had to do. I didn't I felt pressured to do it. You know, even though there wasn't sort of as much physical pressure from him in any way well, kind of there was. But More I felt the the pressure of doing it and that I had to do pressure. Peer pressure to to do this, to be a part of the the the posse. And, and then and then a group of women ended up fight like, And then some people of friends of the person that I actually did the like, had the sexual encounter with the guy.
Han Marko:
So I told some of my friends, and my friends actually told their parents. And then their parents sat my mother down when I was 14. Oh my god. And were like Oh my god. Your daughter has been giving out blood jobs.
Freya Graf:
Fuck off. Those cunt faces. I can't believe that shit. They pee pressure you into sucking a dick. My poor little tiny queer queen had to suck a fucking dick at 14, and then they've gone and played you like that. This is devastating.
Han Marko:
I had braces with
Freya Graf:
you. High school sucks.
Han Marko:
It was really a whole thing, and it was super traumatic. It was super traumatic, and I got into a lot of trouble and a lot of sexual shame came up. And, you know, it was very I I got in I I completely shut down. Completely shut down. And, you know, Completely shut down. Completely shut down. And, you know, although I had lots of feelings about my sexuality towards women before this Experience, I feel like this experience was so shaming of doing that that that kind of Drilled into me that it was wrong to be sexual with men. So, You know, whether that was another layer of my nondesire to, you know, be with them, that that could be a layer there as well.
Han Marko:
So in terms of my sex ed, none. In terms of my biggest kind of sexual non choice and then kind of, you know, slut shaming, Experience of being younger with sexuality, that's kind of the biggest fracture that I would sort of remember.
Freya Graf:
Oh my god. Awful. Thank you for sharing. I didn't know that story. That's fucked up. Yeah. And, unfortunately, probably pretty common stories similar to that. You know? It's just, Man, kids are fucking assholes.
Han Marko:
Yeah. And I think it's just like the parents wouldn't have thought that. They would have thought, like, We're protect you know, we're protect we're telling
Freya Graf:
Yeah.
Han Marko:
The mother, we're protecting them, you know, this is this needs to be addressed. And, You know, potentially, there could have been a better way of doing that. You know? Or maybe the mothers could have gotten together and been like, wow. It's clear that our children have no idea what they're doing. Let's start our own kind of parent sex ed Yeah. Group, you know, which definitely would have been a A high frequency decision.
Freya Graf:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It reminds me of this a story, a girl that I knew Who in high school, I think, like, was pressured and kinda showed her boobs to a guy. But then, yeah, like, I think people told her mom, and rumors spread, and the slut shaming started. And then her mom pulled her out of school and sent her to a different school as, like, a bit of a punishment and, like, this that's not okay. So she kind of even got slut shamed by her mom and Yeah. Ugh, god.
Freya Graf:
Sad times. Alright. So before we, like, move away from The erotic massage. I got a couple more questions about that. And then, yeah, I'd love to hear about these, new kind of events and, like, offerings that you've been experimenting with. In terms of, like, the most common kinda reasons that clients will, like, cite For coming to you, are you noticing patterns? Is it is it always just like they they just want, like, you know, pleasure and a release, Nurturing. Like, what are they coming to you seeking or needing?
Han Marko:
Yeah. So There's different experiences that people desire. There's different intentions that people have. I would say The the deepest one is is connection. To be seen, to feel connection to their own body, but also have that kind of physical connection. People are coming when they yeah. When it's been a while since they've received intimacy. People are coming yet to explore and expand their curiosity.
Han Marko:
Like, I feel the time period for us right now is, You know, not only is is queerness kind of so at the center point of people's, you know, it's so normal for people to be expressing themselves now in this Queerness, not just in their sexuality, but also their, you know, their politics and their, you know, the way they see the world. But in this and and at the same time, I feel, you know, like sexuality and sexual healing is also sort of at the is having the pendulum swing. You know, we went from from queerness and and sex work being really under the rug and kind of really demonized and getting really bad rep, And then it sort of swung this other way where, you know, there's so much more, liberation now. So people are seeking liberation, and that's also what I'm kind of really, yeah, assisting people to want to explore more because Connecting with our sexual essence is connecting with our deepest essence of self. You know? And if we can go straight to that point of Of sexual healing, of intimate healing, then, you know, the sky is the limit as to how much that can Ripple into the rest of ourselves, and and how deeply that can kind of go into the core and assist with everything. You know, if we are seen to be worthy in sexuality and sensual spaces, then, you know, that's deep. That then can ripple off into our worthiness in In all aspects of ourselves. So
Freya Graf:
Yeah.
Han Marko:
I would say people are seeking to to to love their bodies, to in their bodies. People are seeking intimacy with another. And it's beautiful, that I that People are showing up for themselves in this way. I love that. Yeah. Every time, I'm just like, well done. Like, you should be so proud of yourself. You got all the way
Freya Graf:
yeah. I mean, yeah. Well, that's what I was gonna say. Like, it's already a massive deal for just just the way that we've been programmed and conditioned, You know, as women to believe, like, our pleasure isn't as important. We're we're not worthy of it. We're not deserving. You know? It's not something to prioritize. It's a luxury.
Freya Graf:
You know, basically, our pleasure is a total fucking luxury, and we shouldn't expect it or feel as though it's our birthright, which it actually is. And so that's already a big deal for someone to prioritize their pleasure, for a woman to prioritize their pleasure. Like and then if you think about how absolutely, Like, uncommon. It's so normalized and common for a man to go and have a rub and tug or CSX worker, and it's, like, Understood that, like, that is a need. They are getting a need met. You know? It's way less common for a woman to do that. And so, you know, the fact that they're, I mean, it's just real, like, pleasure activism, really. It's political as fuck to, like, go and Be like, my pleasure is so important that I'm gonna pay money, and I'm gonna go and, like, do this thing purely for my own pleasure.
Freya Graf:
Like, that's powerful. And I'm wondering if there's, like, like, if you've noticed any, you know, like, underlying shame or embarrassment from clients because It is less normalized for women to hire a sex worker or do something purely for their own pleasure. Like, do you ever find people are, like, wanting it, curious, Interested but also being kind of held back or, like, gaslighting themselves and believing that, you know, it is, Like, strange or because sometimes, like, I'll even have clients that are really, like, still a bit in disbelief that they've even booked a session and that they've done this and they've prioritized this, and they're a little bit, like, Seeking reassurance from me that, like, it's okay that they're there. Do you get any of that?
Han Marko:
Yeah. I definitely have really similar stuff come up. Most clients will tell me that they're nervous. Most clients will come in feeling really nervous. You know, and again, Sort of straight away being, like, giving them that that, that guidance and just sort of straight away being, like, of course, you're nervous. Like, this is a huge deal. You know? I'm so proud of you sort of being in that and holding that, is really normal. Giving commission.
Han Marko:
And also that, like, The fear and the nerves are in one the same as the excitement and the curiosity. You know? So kind of flipping the narrative so that That is really felt. And but most people don't require For it to be completely confidential, most people are feel open enough to share that that's what they're doing. Sometimes sometimes there are people who, you know, don't wanna share that that that's what they're doing, and that's totally fine. And that's something that we can also unpack in the session. So the session is a minimum of 2 hours because there's a 120 minutes on the table. And in this devotional act, there's also sort of me actually washing down the person as well. So there is a lot more of this kind of, You know, deep methodical more, no more like
Freya Graf:
ceremonial.
Han Marko:
Ceremonial ritualistic aspect. That's also in there too, because for me, it's like people also just think, you know, sex. This is just gonna be really, what our perception of maybe porn is. So really just reshaping that intimacy can be So much. And that it's just it's so nurturing and sensual to wash someone down and to be washed. And we wouldn't even think of that. And so for me, it's kind of these these more smaller acts, these more behind closed doors. Totally.
Han Marko:
Exactly. That really needs to see more of the forefront. I get more limelight of Of when we talk about sexual healing and we talk about sexuality because it's just so multidimensional. And, and we can start slow And build it up with ourselves and just start by receiving beautiful acts, when we are naked or or you know? So, so yeah, that, and then there has to be time, so much time to talk at the beginning and so much time to talk after, especially because of the, The nature of the work. So those things can also be unpacked before and after as well. So, I would say it's it's just it's, you know, it's so much deeper than kind of just coming in and having the experience because all of those levels of Uncomfortability or uncertainty or confusion can sort of just really have that space to breathe and be really validated and Just be be then transmuted through the time that we get to have to each other and the continuing of the softening into the experience. So, Yeah. I would say it's actually been incredible because people are just actually not feeling that ashamed of coming.
Han Marko:
I would say the higher percentages of people go back to their friends, and they're like, guys, I just fucking had this. Like, let's go.
Freya Graf:
Yay. Yeah. Amazing. So good. Yeah. And I imagine, you know, if there is a little bit of a, like, shame spiral starting afterwards I feel like that can happen, you know, after someone has been in a lot of pleasure and they've had this experience, some doubts and some shame can creep in afterwards. But then you've got That aftercare in place, and you can chat, and you can validate, and you can see them in that and reassure them where it's necessary. And, yeah, I mean, it's a full it's a full, Beautiful kind of, like, held experience.
Freya Graf:
So, yeah, I would I would totally, like, recommend I've I've Already sent a couple of people your way, actually, that sort of came to me and, probably just wanted something different to what I Far more of an erotic sensual experience, more of a pleasure centric experience rather than, like, mine's sort of more therapeutic. But that that's kind of another thing I wanted to ask because sometimes I've had people who it's and and this would happen a lot more With men, when I was working with men, where, like, no matter what language you use, no matter how you try to market it and talk about how it's it's, you know, Sort of ritualistic, and it's it's devotional. It's, you know, not a Not a a happy ending. There's something a little bit more, like, reverent about it, and I would, You know, talk about it as, like, a tantric ritual, blah blah blah. People would still sometimes rock up, and they wanna come. And that's, like, their main goal, and they're very, like, Goal focused, and that's, like, understandable. That's kind of how you know? That that's our sexual kind of modeling that we receive. It's the it's the most common kind of blueprint In our society, you know, sex is anything to do with sex is about the orgasm, and, you know, men in particular are very goal oriented about that.
Freya Graf:
And I'm just wondering if you ever get kind of people that are like, well, I've, like, come all this way, and I've paid all this money, and I want like, they've maybe got an idea of what they want it to be in their heads, And you're feeling that, and you're feeling that pressure, to give them this orgasm or, you know, help them achieve this result that they're Expecting. You know, what do you do with the pressure of those expectations? How do you kind of, divert them and help them? Because sometimes when that's happened to me, it's like, oh, I've really gotta, like, try to gently refocus, and remind them that that, You know, the less expectations they have, the better and try to divert some of that focus and energy and striving because it's just far too much pressure to put on A session. And I imagine with women, like, it's also just, like, more unpredictable and difficult to guarantee An orgasm at the end of it. You know? Compared to a rub and tug, like, you can pretty much always get them there. Yeah. What do you do in that situation? Yeah. Good question. Excuse the interruption, my loves, but I'm shamelessly seeking reviews and 5 star ratings for the potty because as I'm sure you've noticed by now, it's pretty fab.
Freya Graf:
And The more people who get to hear it, the more people it can help. Reviews and ratings help me carry favor with the algorithmic gods and get suggested to other listeners to check out. Plus, they make me feel really good and appreciated as I continue to pour my heart and soul into creating this baby for you. And I promise I don't maz over them or anything. I mostly just tuck them away for a rainy day when I'm filled with self doubt and existential dread about being self employed, which is Fairly frequently. So you see, leaving a review really does make a difference, and it's an easy little act of support that you can take in just a minute or 2 by either going to Spotify and leaving 5 stars for the show or writing a written review and leaving 5 stars over on Apple Podcasts. Choose your poison. Or if you're a real overachiever, you could do both.
Freya Graf:
Woah now. If you are writing a review, though, just be sure to only use g rated Dead words because despite the fact that this is a podcast about sexuality, words like sex can be censored, and your review won't actually show up. Lame. Anyway oh, oh, what was that? Are you gonna go do it right now while I wait? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. No. That's a great idea.
Freya Graf:
May as well just Quickly click that 5 star button before we get on with it and, you know, like, forget about it and get on with your day. Oh, I'm hearing them roll in. I'm hearing those 5 stars. Oh my god. I make myself cringe. Anyway, thank you much, Lee. You're a total gem, and I'll let you get back to the episode now.
Han Marko:
You know, there are some clients that I actually will help them with orgasm with orgasming because That's actually their intention. And because they've kind of already done the erotic massage sort of path and they've they're a regular, I can kind of then go into assisting them with this, and especially because Mhmm. When I'm working with trans people, Because of the the hormones that they're taking, that really messes with the body. It really messes with, you know, the sex center points, sex organs. It's And it's it's it's something that can be very frustrating because that type of release, especially with trans, women who Sort of yeah. I used to being able to sort of release this, testosterone, I suppose. All of a sudden can't actually do that, because they've kind of got all of this other hormones and estrogen kind of in their body. So I do work in assisting people work towards that who, are desiring it for more of a therapeutic, You know, measure? So so that's them.
Han Marko:
Again, with the kind of Attempting to reshift other clients. It's also kind of a matter of, well, why do you desire to have this specific release? Like, Can we just create the whole session as, you know, more than what this just sort of one release sort of is? And Also, I think the most important thing coming from this coming from this question is, like, trying to really shift that person to assist To open up their own self pleasure practice so that they can learn about what I'm giving and what I'm doing and how they're feeling when there's that Slowness and that curiosity all through the body, and how can they sort of learn to be wooing themselves To self pleasure themselves, to look for that orgasm that they want, themselves. So I kind of just Sphere like, shift it back to that. Okay. If that's what you want, then try some of the things that I'm doing to you, to yourself in the other session. And in saying that, if people do end up orgasming during the session, Just even if I'm doing kind of light, you know, sensuality play, then it's also about not creating shame that that's happened. And just like, okay. Cool.
Han Marko:
Great. That's just what happened. You know? Sweet. So it's kind of, It's kind of just, yeah, at the end of the day, I think redirecting to how to create, having, Yeah. More sensuality with self to to give them to give yourself that experience. And but in saying that too, I do offer it in certain ways. Like, when I have been working with clients for a longer time as well, I can kind of work on More orgasms focused stuff, which kind of is a little bit more has a bit more of the spiritual mag, magic essence of it because we're actually working with Them wooing themselves and and getting juiced up with themselves and orgasming with the intention of using that sexual energy and that Pulsation of the orgasm to kind of have an, have a intention sort of Taken out into the world and and blasted off into the world because that sexual energy is so powerful and so potent and Creates not only just life and children and people in existence, but it creates, You know, it creates anything we want to come into fruition. It's it's creativity.
Han Marko:
It's creation. It's the strongest life force energy. So Working with people who want to work with their orgasm to, I suppose, manifest more things that they want. Not that I really wanna
Freya Graf:
use sex magic.
Han Marko:
Sex magic is what's happening, and I don't go too much into it because I kinda wanna keep it a little bit mysterious. But working with that is sort of something I can also offer to people once They kind of figure out a little bit more that I'm also, you know, a witch as well as an erotic masseuse.
Freya Graf:
Yeah. Nice. So if you were to and this is, like, pretty ridiculous question because it's such a complex topic and everyone's different, but Through your work and your experience and your, what have you learned about like, What are you what would your best tips be on how to make a woman's body feel the most pleasure that are generally pretty reliable and, like, applicable to most women? Obviously, everyone's as unique as a fingerprint, but are there some common things that you've noticed are, like, pretty across the board effective at, You know making a woman feel pleasure.
Han Marko:
Love it. Yeah. I guess just Continuing on what we've been talking about, that safety is number 1. Cannot go anywhere without it, and I think a lot of people really miss That inside of that, there's so many layers to what that is. The physical environment of safety, the The letting people know what's actually gonna happen so that they're aware and they're in control. Again, like at the beginning of the session when I'm kind of with this this person or this woman, it's sort of I'm telling them how much of an honor it is to touch their body. And that I'm so grateful that they have trusted me for doing that, and that I'm so proud of them for for showing up for their pleasure and Actually, just, you know, reassuring them of all of those things, again, just creates so much safety. And And so that is just 1st and foremost, mine is my number one.
Han Marko:
The yeah. Again, the environment, For me, it's also really important. The heater is on. The candles are on. The music is on. It's It's it's a it's a conducive environment to to activating, You know, not only on a more on a spiritual level, but also on that physical level feeling warm, which means you feel held, which means you can feel more open. And So yeah. Also in the body, just the slowness, you know? Mhmm.
Han Marko:
It's just it's not straight there. It's it's It's the buildup. It's the tease. It's the going close, seeing how it is. It's very intuitive as well. That's kind of not only, again, one Fingerprint every time. Everyone's body is completely different, and I have to be really focused on connecting in with my intuition And connecting in with the trust of myself and that person to know where is okay and where is too much. So so being in that and, you know, again, it's not just about touching these erotic zones.
Han Marko:
Oh, yeah. I'm gonna, You know, get the tits and the pussy and all these things that are kind of just more what the outside world sees it to be. But, like, Again, just using, like, the fingernails sort of stroke and the ears and, and just even just holding the neck. Just holding, and stroking and kisses on the forehead. It's it's all of these more more maternal acts, of of meeting the woman in the way in which they probably give love, And and it not not needing to be sexualized also. Like, the way I'm holding that person is just The sessions can also just be nonsexual, like I do the cuddle sessions, and I'll still just be holding people, holding their hair, holding their neck, Massaging them and kind of all of these things that, don't even need to be sexual, but just are intimate.
Freya Graf:
Yeah.
Han Marko:
When those things are put inside of the then the sexual experience, the sensual experience of the erotic massage, it just levels it up. It just Yeah. That's the whole game. So Beautiful. Yeah. I would just say, it's a lot about It's a lot about the slowness and being intuitive with that person's body, Listening to that person's body and kind of being in the flow of of them and that, and and I have a beautiful, I have the beautiful opportunity of just being able to focus so much on them, and and and giving them the permission to fully just Receive and be in it means that, also, they don't feel like they need to pop into their head and touch me and get confused. So that's, again, that permission of unapologetic receiving and getting that woman to be in the safest place possible to just be like, She's told me that I can just enjoy this, and so therefore, I can. So
Freya Graf:
you're just
Han Marko:
not in your body not in your head, you're in your body. So I would say, again, Having that woman, getting that woman, getting that person to be in their body, instead of being a mind is gonna create the most amount of pleasure.
Freya Graf:
And it's just like I I just roll my eyes so much because I can't even tell you how many times, like, people Ask me, like, oh, they find out what I do for work or they get me on their podcast, and they're like, alright. Give me your, like, top 3 best tips and techniques for, like, Making a woman come or, like, women's pleasure or something. And they want they want techniques. They want moves. You know? They wanna know Press this spot and rub 3 times this way and then spit, like, it's just and I'm like, it is not about technique. Honestly, like, I know it sounds like a wanky answer, and probably they're rolling their eyes right back at me because they're like, bitch, just give me the clickbait. Like, give me the fucking, like, quick Magic bullet, 1 size fits all solution that we all, you know, are after in this culture of instant gratification, And I'm like, there isn't 1. Like, fucking yeah.
Freya Graf:
Get embodied. Get intuitive. Like, listen. Slow the fuck down. Like, it's it's not about technique at all. It's about all of the things you just spoke about. Contact, environment, safety, Energy, like, consent, respect. Oh my god.
Freya Graf:
Anyway so but I love that for yeah.
Han Marko:
Yeah. I think the thing is once all those things are there, You can touch any part of the body, including the pussy, and it will feel like you've got the technique Yeah. On 100%. Totally. Like, all you can do all you do is just stroke up and down the body or the pussy, and it feels like an orgasm in itself. Yep. Yeah.
Freya Graf:
You know? Love that. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. So I would love to get a TMI Story out of you, and we'll do that segment. And then I wanna hear about the queerotica of Culture Nights that you've been organizing because that sounds very fucking cool. So for TMI, do you have a juicy story for her? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Freya Graf:
Yeah. Yeah.
Han Marko:
TMI. So the first thing that came to mind when I thought about the too much info story was, I was about 21, and I had a girlfriend at the time. And We were kind of out partying at a a gay night, and all of a sudden, I felt very light headed and Felt like I was going to faint. So we went home and we went home and my partner ended up kind of Going down on me, or we ended up just getting sort of sexual, you know, to help me from feeling like I was going to faint. I really needed to get a dead come. And my partner kind of went down on me and ended up finding the Top plastic that you would, like, click and open off of the tampon inside of me.
Freya Graf:
I know.
Han Marko:
And so that had obviously been just inside of me, from for probably a week because I hadn't you know, that was when my sort of period had finished. And So I guess the the too much info was is just like, I suppose that that is something that could happen to people, but also that it just kind of came up in sex, and I definitely felt a little shame and confusion and was like, oh my god. What is that? But, yeah, also just so grateful that I had someone who was exploring down there to sort of
Freya Graf:
Find it.
Han Marko:
Find it. Otherwise, it could've just ended Way worse. And, yeah. So I guess the my too my too much information is sort of just being more aware of The things that we put inside of ourselves and and and just sort of, yeah, navigating that in a way where, it can kind of just happen to any person and how just Absolutely gross it is to and was to just have this piece of plastic living inside of me that, So easily just ended
Freya Graf:
up in there. Yeah. I mean, I hear stories all the time about people forgetting tampons up there, but I haven't heard about the little plastic bit. So that's a new one. Thank you for sharing. And just before we wrap up, because I wanna make sure we have time to hear about your your new kind of Sojourn into actually, I don't even really know what that word means. Let's just let's just chat about queerotica occulta nags and, like, How yeah. I wanna hear about how you've been doing these, I don't know much about it, but, like, live erotic massage rituals that are more like a a way to Display, like, safe expression and exploration of, like, intimacy that's, you know, nurturing and gentle and and held.
Freya Graf:
Like, Lay it on me. Talk talk to me about these things you've got going on.
Han Marko:
Amazing. So this is just lighting me up So much at the moment. It feels like this is just yeah. Really a way to be able to Share the types of sessions that I'm having just 1 on 1 on much more of a larger scale. And as we've been talking about kind of that safety and that intimacy and that slowness and softness, you know, how people can see and witness that on more of a bigger level. So for me, I was hired to my first experience was that I was hired to do these live, erotic massages in kind of like a queer, more femme sex on premises party, which are Sort of beginning more and are at the yeah. At the beginnings of their sort of birth. There's always been these places Swingers and Istar and gay men sex to sex on premises sort of stuff, and it's sort of newer for the fem, For the femme life.
Han Marko:
And so I was actually hired to be sort of like a pillar for people being able to witness, into an experience, come into a party, and be able to witness sexuality and sensuality, but not feel like they need to sort of be involved in, anything straight away, again, it's this that's it's this slowness. It's this ability to to kind of rewrite What we perceive sexuality to be, because, you know, you know, as well as I do that when we see porn, it's just So full on and so disembodied and so, you know, nonconsensual and no not slow and doesn't have that that slowness and that that That ritual aspect to it. So doing that and being witnessed in that has truly been A whole other way awakening of another dimension of of my erotic creativity, but also my ability to Feel liberated enough that I'm comfortable enough to share this with people and for people to see What can happen? And and after this experience, I actually people came over to me afterwards Crying, like, thank you so much for showing me that intimacy can be safe. Like, oh my god. And then had another person come up to me afterwards like, Woah. I've seen yourself around, but I was so worried it was gonna be really sexual, and I was really afraid. And now I've just seen like it's just so nurturing. Like, I've just seen it that it's So nurturing and and also people who experience it and who experience it on the night actually, you know, as the people who received it, The touch, because they were also being watched, have sort of also said to me, this actually just Puts the bar shows me the bar of what I'm worthy of and what sexual pleasure can be and what intimacy can be.
Han Marko:
And In one regards, people feeling so happy and excited about that that they've had that experience. And other people, again, like you said, having the comedown and being like, woah. Is this, like, what it's supposed to be the whole time? Because I've never had this. And kind of having that that comedown of, like, where the hell have I been? So so the erotic massage live, I kinda, like, don't like talking about it as a performance because it doesn't feel like I'm actually performing because I'm so in devotion and keeping my eye on that person and and and being with that person that it is a ritual. And so I've been just, yeah, trying to tap into more spaces to to have that as kind of like a live altar, A live a live, yeah, a live ritual that people can kind of tap into and witness, and It can evoke something inside of them that can help them in some way. So putting myself forward
Freya Graf:
for It's a transmission, I would say.
Han Marko:
Transmission is the word. Yes. Love that. So doing that, in all different spaces, doing that in life drawing and people drawing me Kind of slowly in that act. And and also this kind of segues into the Queerajika culture, which is the The sort of monthly nights that I've been running where, again, Through going to these kind of more femme sex on premises, sex positive spaces, not really finding one that I sort of really gel with. And from understanding kind of these temple nights that happen at ISSA and in more of the sacred sexuality spaces, there hasn't really been sort of one that has the nail on the head for me in terms of, queerness and kind of the edge, of what I sort of Need, and and so just creating that space for people to come to. And, You know, mixing in that blend of queerness, of erotica, and of a cult themes, of magic.
Freya Graf:
Hey. Me again. If you'd like to support the potty and you've already given it 5 stars on whatever platform you're listening on, I wanna mention that you can buy some really dope merch From the website, and get yourself a labia lounge tote, tea, togs. Yep. You heard that right. I even have labia lounge bathers. Or a cute fanny pack if that'd blow your hair back. So, if fashion isn't your passion though, you can donate to my Buy Me A Coffee donation page, which is Actually called buy me a soy chai latte because I'll be the 1st to admit, I'm a bit of a Melbourne cafe tosser like that.
Freya Graf:
And, yes, That is my coffee order. You can do a one soft donation or an ongoing membership and sponsor me for as little as 3 fat ones a month. And I also have a Sunroom profile over on the Sunroom app as I've mentioned, and I also offer 1 on 1 coaching Ching, and online courses that'll help you level up your sex life and relationship with yourself and others in a really big way. So every bit helps because it ain't cheap to put out a sweet podcast, into the world every week out of my own pocket. So I will be I'm dyingly grateful if you Support me and my biz financially in any of these ways. And if you like, I'll even give you a mental BJ with my mind from the lounge itself. Salty. And, I'll pop the links in the show notes.
Freya Graf:
Thank you. Later.
Han Marko:
And so, inviting people to come into these spaces that have a tarot reader and an amazing altar, Someone told me I would hold space and there'd be a pillar there and also kind of bring in the these oracle cards and the magic of, you know, that any person that you sit in front of all that you're doing side of a process with and just sitting there and reading these little oracle cards that have prompts on them, That that is medicine that is there for you and that that person is just a mirror of something that you need to see or feel in that time. As well as that having having people bathe each other, like, we were talking about that that worshiping, that that softness and That intimacy that's just really slow, that doesn't need to be sort of sexual. So offering that to people, offering for that to be a hot tub, offering for people to Take their top off if they want to, but that the space is first and foremost about you reconnecting with your sensuality and your sexual essence with yourself first. And then if you want to, and it opens up and you feel safe enough too and you have a connection with someone, exploring that, but also, again, taking the pressure off of, Oh, I'm going to this sex night. Like, oh my god. The take the pressure off that at these spaces, there's life Drawing and the sensuality and there's, the sorry. The sensual photography and all the things that have put me and evoked my, sexual essence there for people to try. So those things are there for them to get in their own, get juiced up themselves Around other people that wanna do that, and invite people to practice erotic massage or central massage with people.
Han Marko:
And so, Yeah. This place is for not only, people who already identify as as queer in their life, and and also partners who are looking to kind of be in erotic spaces with their partner and other people, but also people who, are Worried about identifying as as queer or don't feel that they're queer enough. Like, everyone can be queer. Everyone can be, can can explore this. And I want this just to be for not just people who are already identified that, but as people who might not, You know, sexually identifies that, but identifies that in their in their clothes, in their politics, in their In their livelihood, but just happen to kind of be dating a man, or that's who they're with. But, you know, I don't I I hear a lot of people talk about, well, I don't feel queer enough, and I'm not exploring with, queer people, so therefore I'm not queer. Like, Again, queerness is is is is pleasure activism, just like you said. It can be anything that you want it to be.
Han Marko:
It's just not about seeing things as Good or bad or right or left or, you know, putting a a square peg in a round hole. It's about that Fluidity. It's about that non binary energy. It's about those nuances. It's about, yeah, that that that ability to be more Authentic with yourself because you you wanna be. You know? As queer people, you kind of have to go straight into that authenticity because you need to work on your sexuality because it's presented to you. You know, so in this regard, it's kind of I want it to be a portal for people to be able to Connect more with the the essence of who they are on any level. Amazing.
Han Marko:
So that's there.
Freya Graf:
See, they sound epic, those nights. I'm gonna pop links To your website and social media in the show notes so people can kinda follow and find out when the next events are on, and, Han is also offering 10% off a session with her for my listeners. So get into the Lady Lounge Facebook group, to get that discount code when I've got it and or or get in touch with me or Han. But, yeah, amazing conversation. Thank you so much for, Yeah. Coming and having a yarn with me today, Han.
Han Marko:
Love it. Thank you. Thank you for holding such a great space. And, I just I love talking to other practitioners or people that are in this industry because it's just the absolute best. And because of that, I feel so just instantly, connected to you and comfortable. So thank you for just Being so curious and for giving me a platform to share this share this and myself further because it's it really is God's work.
Freya Graf:
Right on. Fuck yeah. See you, everyone. And that's it, darling hearts. Thank you for stopping by the labia lounge. Your bum grooving the couch will be right where you left it, just waiting for you to sink back in for some more double l action next time. And in the meantime, if you'd be a dear and subscribe, share this episode, or leave a review on iTunes, then you can pat yourself on the snatch because That, my dear, is a downright act of sex positive feminist activism, and you'd be supporting my vision to educate, empower, Demystify and destigmatize with this here podcast. Also, I'm always open to feedback, topic ideas that you'd love to hear covered, Or guest suggestions.
Freya Graf:
So feel free to get in touch via my website atfrerograph.com or say hi over on Insta. My handle is freya_graf_ymt, and I seriously hope you're following me on there because damn, we have Fun. We have fun. Anyway, later labial legends. I'll see you next time.