How to Choose a Yoni Massage Practitioner

Okay, I get asked this question a LOT!

My inbox is frequently populated with enquiries about yoni massage in Australia and who I can recommend as a practitioner in different parts of the country.
So here’s the deal, my loves.


As an experienced Yoni Mapping Therapist with over 8 years of experience massaging yonis I know firsthand (and secondhand and thirdhand!) the pitfalls of choosing a Yoni practitioner without doing your research.

All too often I hear from clients about negative experiences they’ve had with other practitioners that have triggered their trauma, felt disempowering, violating, or energetically “leaky” and confusing.

This isn’t always because the practitioner is in the wrong, however. They may just be the wrong one for YOU.


Yes, sometimes practitioners may be under-qualified, inexperienced, lacking integrity or professional boundaries, or aren’t trauma-informed. There’re a lot of reasons why a yoni massage session might not be facilitated safely due to the practitioner, and I’ll go into what to look for in this regard further down the page.


BUT there’s also a responsibility that you have as a client to do your due diligence when selecting a practitioner to work with.
Because a lot of the time a damaging or disappointing experience could be avoided by doing proper research and vetting potential practitioners thoroughly to make sure they’re going to be the right fit for you.

Back when I started working in this field Yoni work was far less common and very ‘fringe’. Not many people had heard of it and even fewer of those would be prepared to explore having a session!

Nowadays it’s become pretty darn trendy and has gained recognition and popularity in more mainstream circles.
Which is totally fab in my opinion, but because it’s the latest new thang people are treating yoni massage as though it’s just a box to tick; a healing experience to be had; a novelty to try.

I mean, after all, everyone’s doing it these days, right?!

I even had a woman book in for a YMT session with me and arrive for her session completely unaware of the fact that it was going to involve vulva and vaginal touch!  Yikes!
(This is still baffling to me as there’s SO much info on my website about exactly what happens in a session with me and Yoni Mapping FAQs, not to mention an intake form and consent form that specifies this information!)

So it’s no surprise to me, given that so many people just book in a session in much the same way as they’d book in a regular massage with the closest ‘massage therapist near me’, that some clients are winding up having some less-than-ideal experiences.

This is NOT just a regular full body massage, hair appointment or reiki session, my loves!


We’re dealing with your most vulnerable and intimate body parts, emotionally charged memories, triggering traumas, and deeply conditioned beliefs around very delicate topics!
This is not something to be trusted to just anyone who’s fingerblasted a couple of hapless yogis in a tantric ashram in Thailand and now calls themselves a Yoni Masseuse! (See my podcast episode about this HERE)

So I urge you, be radically self responsible. Be curious and cautious. Listen to your intuition about someone AND back this up with research!

It’s SO important to have the emotional maturity to navigate this form of healing session. This means having clear communication skills, the ability to advocate for yourself, say no, and uphold your personal boundaries, and an understanding of what you’re seeking from this modality.

Below I’ll list the main things to be aware of and use in your screening process when looking for a Yoni practitioner so that you can be confident that you’ve made a safe choice and are in good hands when delving into this special and deep work!

What to consider when choosing a Yoni Massage or Vaginal Massage Specialist:

• How much experience do they have? See if you can ascertain how long they’ve been qualified and roughly how many clients they’ve worked with.
  
  

• What training and qualifications do they have? Research the lineage of yoni work they’ve entered the field via, who they trained with and what was involved.
  Read up on the philosophy and approach of the individual practitioner as well as the organisation or person they learnt from to make sure it aligns with you and your unique needs.
  
  

• Are they trauma-informed? Have they got enough experience and training to hold space and facilitate you safely if trauma responses come up and when you are at your most vulnerable. Can you feel completely safe with them?
  
  

• What can you learn about them from their website and social media presence? Check out their content, videos, blog posts, and see how they show up and whether it resonates with you. Do you like what they’re about? What feeling do you get when you read their website or posts? Do they feel trustworthy and confident in their skills as a practitioner to you?
  
  

• How long are their sessions? Knowing the nature of this work, I’d suggest that sessions be a minimum of 3 hours long. Yoni massage sessions can go as long as 7-8 hours sometimes, depending on the practitioner and the needs of the client.
  Especially for a first time session, it’s super important to have enough time for a talk therapy component where the practitioner can gather information about your, your history, needs and challenges before even approaching any touch.
  Before the bodywork component of a session it’s essential to develop rapport, trust, safety and nervous system regulation through talking for 30-60 minutes at least, so anything shorter than 3 hours is just not going to be enough! Trust me!
  

• Do they include full body massage prior to the yoni work? This is another essential part of easing you into the Yoni touch and allowing your body and nervous system to drop into a state of surrender and calm.
  Honouring the whole body first and focusing on cultivating relaxation and trust before approaching the Yoni is paramount to this work. A good practitioner understands this and wont rush or skip ahead to the Yoni work.
  
  

• Have they got testimonials and reviews on their website or business profile? Can you find convincing evidence of real people who have worked with the practitioner and speak about the experience positively. Photos and names under testimonials are great as they’re harder to fake, and video testimonials are even better!
  Use your discretion to gather valuable information about the practitioner based on what their clients are saying and whether this feels like it’d be a good fit for you.
  
  Even better would be a personal recommendation from a friend or trusted person known to you that can confirm that this practitioner is a good choice. This way you can quiz your friend about their experience and ask questions to get a clearer picture about how they work. Plus you know the testimonial is real when it’s first-hand like this!
  
  

• How much do they charge? Good quality yoni massage sessions generally cost between $400 and $750 and if a practitioner is charging less than this then I’d question whether the session will go for long enough and also the quality of their work.
  If you think about a standard talk therapy session costing roughly around $100-$200 an hour, then a highly specialised skillset like this with multiple hours of contact time per session should cost you at least $400 upwards.
  It’s not the kind of thing you want to skimp on, babes!
  
  

• I’d HIGHLY recommend you book with a female massage practitioner. This isn’t because I’ve got anything against men, but I’ve found that there’s a lot less risk or murky energy and unclear boundaries when you work with a female practitioner.
  Many clients are coming to this work with a variety of sexual trauma, triggers and emotional challenges so working with a man straight off the bat can be problematic, potentially triggering, confusing and sometimes even unsafe.
  A far larger proportion of the horror stories I’ve heard in this industry have been about male practitioners working with women and shit going south! And not in a good way!
  (Here’s a helpful article about what to do if you have a trauma response in a yoni massage session.)
  
  

• Do you feel like there are very clear, safe boundaries in place and a purely professional relationship with the practitioner? I’d think twice about accepting an offer of a free session from someone just because you find them attractive, and if there’s flirtatious or sexual energy between you, that’s not appropriate, hun – find someone else to work with.
  
  Unfortunately there’re way too many spiritual fuckboys and ‘tantic’ massage practitioners out there who’re taking advantage of this largely unregulated field and will pray upon vulnerable women.
  Many of them have done a couple of weekend workshops in yoni massage or neo-tantra and now claim to be qualified practitioners. And a lot of them use the ‘therapist/client’ power imbalance and vulnerability of their clients to cross their boundaries, gaslight, and seek sexual gratification in sessions.
  
  

• Does you practitioner discuss things like safety, boundaries, and consent? These are musts before any touch is introduced in a session and no practitioner worth their salt will leave these conversations out.
  I have a detailed intake form and consent form that my clients sign before a session commences and something along these lines is ideal in order to feel comfortable and confident in a practitioners ability to hold a safe space for you, as well as their professionalism.
  
  

• If in doubt, most practitioners will be happy to have a call with you where you can ask any questions or voice any fears. On these calls you can also find out details that might help you feel more comfortable or make a decision such as: Do they wear gloves? What sort of oil do they use? What do you need to know or do to prepare before a session? Where did they study?

Remember that you’re screening practitioners to find someone who you can trust and invest your hard-earned money in.
Leave any people pleasing and politeness out of it.
If you don’t completely resonate and feel comfortable with someone, don’t feel pressured or obliged to work with them just because you’ve enquired.

You are responsible for yourself and who you allow into this vulnerable and sensitive space with you – be a solid gatekeeper for your yoni and make sure you protect yourself and your body as best you can by making these enquiries before booking!

Red Flags in a Yoni Massage That Mean You Should Leave Immediately:

• Make sure the practitioner works FULLY CLOTHED.
  This is not an erotic massage or a sexual service, remember. There’s nothing wrong with those services, but this is NOT what a proper Yoni massage session is about and it’s a red flag if the practitioner isn’t dressed appropriately as any massage or medical professional would be.
  
  

• On that note, remember that a therapeutic Yoni massage isn’t a happy ending or sexual massage. If the practitioner is being inappropriate, flirting, making you uncomfortable or offering ‘extra services’, this isn’t okay and you should get out of there ASAP!
  
  

• One-way touch and hands only! If the practitioner uses any other part of their body than their hands, this isn’t part of a proper Yoni massage session. If they use their mouth or other body parts, get out.
  Yoni massage sessions with professionals who are in their integrity do not ask for or allow two-way touch.
  These sessions are purely for the therapist to touch you (appropriately) and NOT for you to touch them. If at any point you feel unsure, confused or uncomfortable with what your practitioner is asking you to do, stop the session.
  
  

• Safe, clean and professional spaces only! If you don’t feel comfortable in the practitioner’s space for any reason once you arrive (maybe it’s not clean or is too noisy/not private enough, difficult to relax and be present) that’s going to hinder your experience so feel free to change your mind and leave.
  If anyone else enters the room or the practitioner is suggesting another person be involved in the session, say no and leave.
  

• Remember that at ANY point during a session, no matter what, you are able to stop, pause or leave the session. If you don’t feel safe, if you’re feeling triggered and unsure of a practitioner and how they’re behaving, if for any reason you need to call it off suddenly, you are within your rights to do so and no professional practitioner will take this personally or have an issue with this.
  
  
  Our main priority as practitioners is YOUR wellbeing and a good practitioner will make sure you always feel safe to stop or leave if you need to.

I know I’ve highlighted some pretty scary risks that can be a factor when exploring this work, but I want to reassure you that there are plenty of brilliant practitioners out there who you won’t have any issues with and I only included the risks and red flags to make sure you’re aware of them and safeguard against those outcomes.


I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention them as these things can and do happen, but that’s not to say that they’re going to happen to you and it’s highly unlikely if you follow this screening process and do your research.

So don’t let fear inhibit you from experiencing the incredible benefits you can get from modalities involving Yoni massage. It really is a very special and unique tool for healing and growth.

Feel free to check out the Yoni Mapping Therapy page and scroll down for FAQs if you’d like to know more and get a feel for how I work.